What is this feeling?

sometimes

sometimes i feel like i'm alone in the world. Like i have noone, i also feel like a nobody. My life has been hard lately. I honestly don't know myself anymore. When i look in the mirror i see a stranger. I heard what some people have been saying about me, it hurt my feelings a lot. I Just want to go back into time. Sometimes i HATE everyone in the whole world. I mean everyone, my mom(s), my dad(s), my brothers, my sister that i've never met, my pets, everything and everyone, including myself. Sometimes i hate myself so much because i do impulsive things with out thinking of the consequence and it pisses me off. I just want things to go back to normal.  Bad things are happening to me and my family. We might have to get rid of our family dog. My uncle has a tumor, we don't know if its cancerous. My aunt has alzheimer's, she's taking pills for it, her son died a few months ago. Nothing is going good, i would saw i deserve it, but i deserve the bad things not my family. My mom who is pregnant is super stressed out, thats not good for her or the baby. Everything is BAD.