What is this feeling?

Mental heath

My depression is so much worse. My stomach problems are coming back. Today during lunch something happened and i cried. I'm such a crybaby, i need to grow up. I've stopped talking, if i stop talking then i can't say things i'll regret. I almost had an anxiety attack. I'm shaking. I want to go home. I'm so tired. I'm so angry with myself. The worst part is one of the people i know could tell i was crying. The days that are bad are the ones that i feel my heartbeat in my head. I was showering, and i got super angry with myself and so i punched my leg 3 times. My fist doesn't hurt my leg does. That doesn't matter. The days that are hard are the ones where i have to force myself to get up. I get bullied as a "joke" everyday. Sometimes it really hurts, i'm already insecure, they just make it worse. When i shower i turn the hot all the way up, sometimes i feel like my skin is melting.