What is this feeling?

What the hell

I'm upset because we don't have school today and I can't see them. It's a virtual day so maybe we can still talk. Like I actually wanted to go to school. I want to see them. I actually want to go to school, just to see them. I have stuff to give and show them. They said they have to choose between me and someone. I'm afraid. I'm so afraid that their not going to choose me. I like them a lot and I don't want to get hurt. They are so perfect in every way and I like them so fucking much. I hope they slept well. They have a hard time with sleep. I slept with all the bracelets that they gave me. It makes me happy thinking about them. At least I get to see them tomorrow hopefully. I got new pens and a new notebook and I want to show them. They always use the good sketch book paper on the notes that they give me every morning. It makes me feel special. My lips are really chapped which annoys me cause it feels weird. My grandma had 500 tabs open in her safari. I closed them all. I found it funny that she had that many open