Organized Crime: Unorganized

Chapter 21

Grace sat at the conference room table with the team gathered around her, including Diane and Oliver.
"You want you know the truth. You all deserve the truth" Grace began.
"We want you to be comfortable with telling us" Sadie cut in, giving her a gentle smile.
"I just don't want to lose your respect" Grace admitted.
"You won't" James assured her.
"So, what's the story?" Marco asked. Grace let out a shaky breath standing up from her chair she paced the room "We're all in, if you are" Marco encouraged.
"We moved to Rome for my mother's posting. Nick and I became fast friends, he knew the bibles inside and out and he believed without question. Until he didn't and he started to question everything he thought he knew" Grace admitted looking down at her feet.
"What made him question everything?" Marco asked, meeting Grace's eye. Grace looked away quickly, feeling the bile rise in her throat.
"We moved around a lot when I was a kid. It was hard to get accepted, and when your 15 that's all you want" Grace admitted, avoiding everyone's eyes "You'll do almost anything" Grace admitted, her voice breaking. The room fell to silence as everyone thought over Grace's words.
"You got pregnant, didn't you?" Marco asked.
"When you're used for your body once, you discover that it's easy to let yourself be used again. It's like a bargaining chip" Grace joked lightly with a shrug.
"Was Nick the father?" Marco asked.
"No" she shook her head, angry with herself and her actions "That's the worst part" Grace frowned deeply "I couldn't tell my mother. Nick suggested I talk to our priest"
"And what did he say?" Lorenzo asked making Grace laugh slightly.
"He said that if I had an abortion, I wouldn't be welcome in his congregation"
"So, what did you do?" Lorenzo asked.
"Nick found a doctor for me, we skipped school, he stayed with me, he held my hand the whole time" Grace took a deep breath to calm herself, wiping her stray tear that had fallen "When we got back to Rome that Sunday, he thought that I should go to church to pray for the... Nicky told me to hold my head up and we walked to the front pew" Grace explained her voice shaking. "What did the priest do?" Lorenzo asked.
"Father Moretti actually stopped his sermon midway through. You should've seen the look the two of them shared. It was like a battle of strength and will. Then Father Moretti just went back to his sermon" Grace sniffled "Nicky saved me whilst killing us both at the same time" Grace admitted.
"What do you mean by that?" Marco asked. Grace let out another shaky breath still trying to calm herself.
"I couldn't have that baby, but my abortion has haunted me every day. It haunted Nick to. I was able to hide it for a few years before I did something stupid-"
"What happened?" Marco asked earning another deep sigh from her "No judgements, we're family here" Marco assured her.
"I took a handful of pills before I drank half a bottle of wine. I overdosed, I was choking on my own vomit when Tom found me and took me to the hospital" Grace admitted "Nick turned to heroin. I found him once. His body was limp, the needle was still in his vein. I called an ambulance. They said that if he had been left for a minute longer, he would've died. When he came out of sedation, he was still groggy and he let my abortion slip to his parents. He was rambling about how he couldn't forget how much pain I was in that day, and how it made him question everything he believed about God because of how much pain god caused me" Grace explained "His parents kicked me out of his hospital room, they wouldn't let me see him again after that. For three weeks I went to that house and begged them to let me in. On the fourth week we moved to Brazil" Grace told them.
"Arthur Cabbot sends his love. He said that you knew Nick the best" James told her.
"It's true. Nick had always been... different. He made me feel worthy of friendship and of... love. Until I betrayed him" Grace frowned, looking back at her feet as more tears fell.
"It wasn't your fault Grace" James assured her gently.
"I shouldn't have slept with Damien, if I hadn't then Nicky wouldn't have been dragged into my mess to help me" Grace frowned deeply.
"Ronnie! I'm so sorry!" Grace heard Damien shout to her, but as she lifted her head her mother's palm slapped her across her cheek.
"Slut" Her mother bit.
"I thought she knew Ronnie, I'm so sorry" Damien apologized as Grace stared down her mother.
"How many?" Rosaline bit.
"How many what?" Grace bit back.
"How many others have been victims to your flirtations?" Rosaline asked earning a scoff from Grace.
"You already thought that I was a screw up mother, surely by now you're not surprised?" Grace bit.
"I don't know why I am! How hard is it to keep your legs crossed-"
"Don't you dare!" Grace yelled at her, her temper boiling over "I never lied about what he did to me it was all true, but you didn't want to believe me!" Grace bit angrily.
"I still don't know what to believe!" Rosaline shouted earning a scoff from Grace "You had just been taught the birds and the bees and it came out of nowhere. There was no proof!-"
"No proof! No proof! Tom caught him with his hand up my nightie just like every night since I was 8! All you needed to do was watch and wait and believe me!" Grace shouted at her earning a head shake from her mother "Every night, I lay there awake waiting for him to creep inside my room and run his hand up my leg to what he wanted the most-"
"This is disgusting-"
"No! You're going to listen to me! Because where were you when his weight was on top of me. When I was calling out to you Mommy where were you? Mommy why is he touching me? Mommy make him stop. Mommy why am I bleeding? Mommy it hurts. Mommy don't let him touch me. Mommy-" Grace froze in shock as her mother slapped her across the face again.
"You're a wicked girl" her mother bit.
"No, I'm not. I'm just broken" Grace told her "Robert raped me from age 8 to 12. I thought that my body was the only thing that men wanted from me so every time we moved, I used my body to buy me friends. I got pregnant and because of that I hurt two of my friends. I've made a lot of mistakes and I regret them, but God will judge me, not you" Grace shot at her.
"I did my best with you" Rosaline told her earning a scoff back "I raised you the same way my mother raised me-"
"And you're a cold, heartless bitch just like your mother. Maybe you should've changed your parenting style" Grace shot back jokingly "You don't even know me" Grace scoffed "I've been through so much that you don't even know about. The rape, the pregnancy, the overdose- why don't you ask your beloved government what they paid me to do" Grace ordered her angrily.
"What overdose?" Rosaline asked earning yet another scoff from Grace.
"I was 18. Tom took me to the hospital, and he made sure that I wasn't given a psych eval or put into a facility. It was charged to you. Weeks after I waited for you to storm into my room and ask me about it but, you never did" Grace shook her head "The only thing our family is good at is keeping secrets and lying on our backs with our legs apart, panties on the floor-" Grace cut herself off as her mother's hand swung for her face again, this time Grace caught her wrist, stopping her hand just inches from her face "The first hit I let you have, the second caught me by surprise, but that's all you get" Grace told her.
"Do you think I wanted a daughter like you? I gave you everything" Rosaline shot back heading towards the door.
"Everything except love, right mom?" Grace shot back before Rosaline continued moving the direction of the elevators.
"Did I mean anything to you?" Damien asked, his eyes welling with tears.
"Of course you did" Grace assured him, crossing the room towards him but he stopped her from embracing him.
"You didn't need to sleep with me back then" he told her, earning a guilty look from her "I knew you loved him more than me, after that night I thought things would change but, you loved him, not me. I'm sorry I ran when you told me that you were pregnant" he frowned deeply, trying to stop his tears from falling.
"We were kids-"
"You'd been hurt before with sex. I'm sorry I added to your pain and I'm sorry you felt that you needed to have sex with me" he apologized.
"You showed me that sex meant love and I'll always be grateful for that. For you. I loved you both, you and Nicky" Grace told him, pulling him in close before she placed a kiss to the top of his head.
"He loved you too Ronnie. So do I" he admitted, kissing the top of her head back before he left the conference room.