Tilt ∞ [Harry Styles]

Chapter 15 ❥ Original

Chapter 15 ❥ Original

Harry's POV *

   The only word floating in my head, and bugging the hell out of me for several days now. Why. I've just made everything a whole lot worse– why? It's been three days of her hatred towards me, yet I can't handle a single minute of it. 

   I just had to take my own advice. I thought the fact of telling Alyssa what I thought I felt would help the whole situation of my feelings for her. In fact, I don't even know what I feel. Someone tell me how I feel!

   I clutch the railing of our patio, letting the weather to leave me shivering because I deserve it. I've avoided everybody lately and it's quite comforting leaving the silence to solve absolutely nothing. The annoying part of all of this, is that the boys constantly bug me and trying to reach out for me but I'm only letting myself shut them out and build a wall between all of us. I know it helps nothing but my mind is just so screwed up at the moment. What have I done?

   I crumpled up the useless music sheets that were no meaningless to me. I read what good lyrics I've had so far and skimmed over them.

   "Now you are standing there right in front of me. I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe. All of a sudden these lights are blinding me, I never noticed how bright they would be… I saw in the corner there is a photograph. No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you. It lies there alone in bed of broken glass. This bed was never made for two… I'll keep my eyes wide open, I'll keep my arms wide open…

   Don't let me, Don't let me, Don't let me go. 'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone. Don't let me, Don't let me go, 'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone… I promise one day that I'd bring you back a star, I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand. It seems like these days I watch you from afar, just trying to make you understand. I'll keep my eyes wide open, yeah!

   Don't let me, Don't let me, Don't let me go! 'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone. Don't let me, Don't let me go… Don't let me, Don't let me, Don't let me go, 'cause I'm tired of feeling alone…"

   "Harry, get back in here! It is snowing like hell out there! You're gonna catch a cold!" Louis blared from inside, leaving me to huff in annoyance. I deserve to be sick. I deserve every punishment somebody throws at me, I'll take it. I shouldn't have hurt such an angel. My best friend.

   Alyssa has that effect on everybody. The ability to make everyone feel guilty when they do the worst to her. She's like the kind of person you're afraid to step up to, sometimes. You wouldn't do any bad to her because you actually know or have that feeling she will eventually get you back. But sometimes, she's just too angelic that she'll forgive you. That's if you're very special to her.

   That's one of the possibilities you can't break from her. She may have forgotten who she was, or most of her, but she will definitely never change. She may not be the same Alyssa before the car accident, but she sure will find her way back to that girl. I just wish I was there to at least stop the car accident. But how can I do so? I didn't even know any part of it. And plus, you can't change the past.

   "Harry?" Louis' voice is now full of anger.

   "Just leave me the f•ck alone! I'll go inside when I want to." I fired back, not even bothering to look at his flustered face. Soon I heard footsteps leaving and walking away as the door closed. I groaned in frustration. I'm glad he didn't dare to talk even more, otherwise I would have to hurt somebody.