Tilt ∞ [Harry Styles]

Chapter 32 ❥ Derision

Chapter 32 ❥  Derision

Alyssa's POV *

   "Forgive us, babe." Danielle pleaded, throwing pillows behind me. I could sense hers and Eleanor's pouting behind me as I dug my head further into the sheets.

   "C'mon Lys, today is possibly the last day I'll see you." Eleanor warned. This statement made me shoot my head right up to turn around and look at them. My eyes were sleepy, my body was twisted in an unpleasant way and my neck ached like crazy.

   "Perrie told us to give this to you, she thought you'd like it." Danielle grinned, handing me a small velvet box that held an obvious ring. I smiled sleepily, but this doesn't mean I wasn't forgiving them.

   "Aww." I cooed. "I love it." My croaky morning voice reverberated throughtout my giant room. Echoes bouncing off from every naked edge. "I'm gonna text her."

'You're amazing.' I sent a picture of me wearing the pink studded ring, that seemed almost real. 'Thanks so much <3'

   I let the words sink in after re-reading what I had sent her in case I didn't have any typos. I tucked my phone in the duvet next to my tired body and threw my hands up in confusion. "Now where the hell did y'all shop at?"

   "TopShop, since they had one."

   "And didn't bother bringing me anything?" I retorted.

   "Sorry, love. To make it up, I texted Liam to get you some crumptes or a soBe drink." Danielle beamed.

   "I'm really fine, I don't need anythi–"

   "What happened yesterday?" Eleanor apruptly asked, no warning whatsoever. I didn't respond for a while as I looked down at my tired lap and fiddled with my nimble fingers. I've never felt so unhealthy and scared in my life. The doctor's words, ringing in my head like crazy. Very subconscious throught the days and not even thinking about the disdavantages about being bullemic. Hell, I'm not even doing it the right way. Usually, we purge when we're full all of a sudden, but I've been starving myself. I can take control, take risks. But it's not exactly what I did.

   'Bulimia? You need to eat, babe. It's not healthy.' I remember her saying. 'Binging can lead to, well, diabetes, cancer and all that jazz.' The words still ringing in my head from the small lectures, floating around setting up the time for when it's gonna bug me next time. The worst thing that could happen is going back to the times in highschool and any further below. I can't remember the last time I felt happiness, it makes no difference whatsoever if I go back to my previous life. Where I was healthy but still unhappy; and when I was so immune to everything. The one with the strong immune system, the one who doesn't cough during class in general, the one who never asks questions; the one who never asks to go to the restroom or the nurse. I remember that girl, yet I don't remember the memories.

   They say it's true that sometimes we miss the memories, not the person. I truly miss both of them in all honesty, I can't imagine how better my life was before. I wish I could remember a time when one point where my life was happy. Before my first ever car accident, I was still the same unhappy person. I mean, I gave away the news about my bestfriend being in the X-factor just for popularity and look where that got me.

   People loved me because I was close and personal with Harry Styles. I thank Harry, he's given me the happiness in the early life. But it's truly the saddest thing to only find out that it was all a lie? Not particularly a lie, but a fame that wasn't my own.

   "Nothing happened yesterday." I beamed. Here we go again, with the fake happy attitude. I seriously can't remember the last time I was actually happy, I forgot the warm feeling of it. "Oh, and um..to make up your stupid actions, I want a Cereal bar."