Tilt ∞ [Harry Styles]

Chapter 22 ❥ Bliss

Chapter 22 ❥ Bliss

Alyssa's POV *

   "You guys suck ass, we've been looking everywhere for you guys for half an hour!" Rachel whined constantly tugging at our sleeves. We were desperately trying to keep up with ourselves and waltz our way far from the complaining because our pity state of laughter. We felt kinda bad after ditching the poor girls to go have fun in our separate ways.

   "Girls, have you guys gotten these flyers in your rooms?" Danielle chimed in through holding up a peachy paper before turning it in our direction.

   "I got one." Eleanor and Perrie said in unison. I shrugged.

   "I didn't go to my room since the pool fun just hours ago. What does it say?" I sat up from Katelyn's room bean bag and glanced over.

   "There's a Ballroom Dance in the main room, they expect us to dress formal." Danielle replied with furrowed eyebrows. "How would they know that their guests don't have an fancy wear?"

   "Well it's good enough to afford actually being here, so they should know." I replied almost unsure of myself. The girls nodded in agreement.

   "Yeah, we have dresses anyways. Right?" Perrie nodded looking at all of us for an answer. Some shrug, some nod.

   "I do, but mine is crap." Eleanor rolled her eyes. We all stared at her in utter shock and dramatically gasped. "What?" She shrugged with a questioning look and the furrow of her eyebrows being knit together.

   "El, since when did you wear crap? Everything you wear is model material." Sarah reassured. We've spent the whole time talking about the dress situations as I fiddled with my fingers. My insecurities are over taking me and I feel horrible. I'm what they call 'sick minded' and somehow nobody seems to make me feel better about myself. After that horrid nightmare, I've seriously had problems with myself. Do you know how it feels like to just wake up every morning and just silently cry to yourself automatically? Normally, it'd be to cry yourself to sleep but there's no smile in the morning for me. Because I'm not strong. And there I go again, letting my insecurities invade me.

   It's not likely to actually hate myself for everything. Somehow there is a huge weight weighing on my shoulders and I can't seem to find the reasoning. I'm gonna look incredibly fat in that dress I wear.

   "When is the event?" I suddenly asked.

   "On the flier," Danielle's eyes scanned over the lines silently humming to herself."it says it starts at 8:00pm and ends midnight! It'll be like Cinderella."

   "Oh God, that's amazing! I just love Florida night sky." Eleanor dazed about. "What's the theme?"

   "Well Little Miss El, I honestly don't know. But it just says to dress as if we were going to dance. Dance as in dance gracefully.. Not Alyssa's clubbing job sort." Dani replied.

   I seriously have no effect right now, I'm still pondering on whether I should go or not. I'm extremely selfconscious, I honestly don't know how much the nightmare aeffected me. Whatever it is, it's really strong. The feeling of losing completely all of your conceded ways is actually the feel of death in me. It's like I have no self confidence anymore, and I just lost a huge part of me. I've never felt like this before, and it's actually hurting me. Not physically, of course. It's just killing me.

   I was always known to have such a step-up personality, and always up front about myself. I was always insecure, but I always snaked my way to a thought on how to over-look that. But somehow of course, it's not there anymore and I've lost all my ability to over-look anything. Anything of my own, and it's ruining everything already.