Tilt ∞ [Harry Styles]

Chapter 38 ❥ Dreadful Existence

Chapter 38 ❥ Dreadful Existence

Harry's POV *

   It's been exactly two and a half weeks of me being here in Florida, and I can honestly say I was getting a bit homesick. The drunken nights I get with Christina lead to the same thing every night and it manages to make me stay and forget the bad that I would get into if I ever return to London. Of course, with the new arrivals of celebrities making an apperance here like Rita Ora and Cara Delevigne, it's an even bigger party. Sadly the two apparent 'wifeys' have left to travel the world, and now it's just me again with Christina and those friends of hers.

The sad thing is, I had found out the reasoning behind why those girls even giggle around me. I just get feminine, they think I should grow up. They make fun of the way I act. My gestures, the littlest of things they have to point out that I do. It's like I can't even sit without hearing little giggles coming from behind me and I'm out and about. Christina doesn't even notice this, sometimes I even throw deadpan glares at them to get the atmosphere to calm itself. They don't even get the memo and I have to refrain from saying anything I may regret.

I soaked in the sun, I guess you can say. The familiar sand's friction underneath my bare legs and the feel of it burning on my elbows. I have to be cautious every now and then considering the seagulls were undeniably viscious and feeling of regret for throwing my sunglasses at them. I officially have just lost my ability to open my eyes whilst sitting on the beach laying next to the beauty.

"This won't help me get any darker, just sayin'.." Christina trailed off next to me.

"You don't need to," Reassuringly. "You're beautiful."

"I know." She sighs. I chuckle next to her, bringing my right arm to my heated face. Although giggling was annoying to me now, I still found it to be attractive coming from any girl. Christina didn't normally giggle, it'd just be a stifled laughter. It was still cute though, she's attractive nonetheless.

"You wanna go back to the hotel now?"

My question was left unanswered as she arched her back up to stretch. I sigh deeply in general, getting tired by the minute. I've gotten used to Florida's atmosphere and I can honestly say that I missed the London weather. Where everybody gathers together and snuggles. Where we would go out and have fun, maybe even sit around the campfire.

I sure do miss the lads and the ladies, but leaving here would be too soon for me. Plus, if I return now, nobody would want to talk to me at all. It's been almost - almost a month since I've talked to any of them. Perrie would text me, genuinely being the sweetest and I'm guessing she is the only one as far as I know who doesn't know what I've done.

If you weren't in my point of view, you'd see how ridiculous she was being and just get over the fact that I've called my bestest of best friends a whore. She's far from that, she needs to understand I was being incredibly ridiculous. I hate myself for doing that to her, I've probably caused her so much trouble and she's probably going to start cutting herself again. 

God damn, I hate myself even more.

She is just the most beautiful thing in the world, she doesn't even try. I'm supposed to be helping her not feel like all those bad things. In fact, I should be pushing her to do her best. Pushing her out of the bullshit this universe has caused her and focus on what she wants to make her feel happy. She needs to be happy; she deserves to be happy. She deserves the whole world and she deserves to feel loved.

There are many things I don't even know about her anymore. We're drifting apart; it's heartbreaking. It's like the universe is pulling us apart purposely and I'm just - distraught. Ever since childhood, we were always pulled apart.