Unfortunately, I'm an Evil Villainess

Chapter 101 - Confessions (II)

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Delilah didn't know how much she'd drank, only that since she was still conscious, it clearly wasn't enough.

The lights in the refreshment room dazzled her eyes, and her head spun. Another gentleman came to ask her for a dance, and again she refused. Such was the pain of being society's most eligible bachelorette. She couldn't even suffer in peace.

Valentina was dancing with her fiance, and Annalise had been swept away by a respectable foreign merchant. She was glad they didn't see her like this, for they alone could always tell that she was inebriated, and would certainly urge her to stop and go home. In fact, she'd made them swear that they'd force her to return whenever it happened, but that felt silly now. It would never do, as the solitude with nothing but her own thoughts would utterly destroy her.

Delilah fanned her flushed face with a hand. She was grateful for the lightness of her dress, crafted from the finest grey silk, to resemble that of the Drowned Maiden. A classic character from The Affairs of Abbeyton Manor, she loved a man who didn't care for her, and on his wedding day, she threw herself into a river. She became a ghost and haunted her beloved for the rest of his life, until he died and she faded away in her own misery. A pathetic and weak girl, Delilah had always considered her.

"Have any of you seen Lady Catherine?"

Outwardly, there was no change at all to Delilah's demeanor. Yet the familiar voice made her heart pound, and from the corner of her eyes she could see that he was standing by the door, talking to a few other gentlemen, so close that she only needed to cross the room to get to him. Before she could rein herself, in a dream-like haze, she did exactly that.

"May I have this dance, Lord Damian?"

It did unspeakable things to her heart to witness the smile and laughter he directed towards his friends slip off his face when he turned to her, but it was all right, for her soul had numbed and frozen over a long time ago, when she'd laid her whole being at his feet, and he'd refused to take any of it. She should've given up then, but she didn't know how, and she hadn't managed to learn. Thus, she stood before him, her body so cold that she felt no longer real.

"Certainly."

He never turned down her requests, but her dignity, employing the help of Valentina and Annalise, had successfully prevented her from asking for some time. She didn't know what she was doing, only that she couldn't breathe, and though the man in front of her worsened that, she must have more of him.

Lord Damian escorted her to the ballroom. He was still the best dancer she'd met, of all the gentlemen she'd danced with. The most handsome, the smartest, the most humorous, the most powerful, the most suitable. Hadn't she done enough to deserve him? In fact, wasn't she the only one worthy of him?

'I believe it will not surprise you to learn that I love you. However, I do not know if you realize that my feelings have reached such an extent that I am willing to throw away all my remaining pride to beg for even a trace of affection from you.'

Has she merely thought these words, or spoken them aloud? As Damian's lips curled into a cruelly pitiful smile, Delilah feared it had been the latter.

"Really, Lady Delilah. My answer has not changed, and I do not know what more you could possibly want from me to rid you of this desperation. A month ago, I would've gladly been your lover, but I still would not marry you. Now that I have met someone I find particularly interesting, I can not do even that, but I will be your friend, and I shall tell you that this boldness is unbecoming of you. While I am presently enraptured by the sincerity and openness of another individual, we both know these aspects go against your nature."