Prod
I put Christian to bed, ignoring all his questions about his mother. I stayed up all night on the couch, thinking of how I could track these men down. I wanted them to die by the end of this week and trust me, I could make that happen if I put my mind to it.
My phone began to ring. I glanced down and saw that Ray was calling. I weakly tapped the talk button and pressed the phone against my ear.
"Prod?" Ray called out.
"Yeah.." I trailed.
"I heard what happened. You good?" He asked. Was I good?
"Ray, my wife just died. No, I'm not good. I'm sad, confused, pissed... and numb." I said, placing my hand on my forehead. I was trying hard not to cry again.
"It's gonna be okay, man. She's in a better place now." He said.
No. She was better with me and Christian.
"I swear, Ray, when I find out who did this, they'll burn in hell. I swear they will." I said, through clenched teeth.
"I'll help you do that too. Shit, YN was like my sister. We grew up together. They'll get theirs." He said.
I suddenly heard Christian crying from upstairs. I glanced up at the stairs, "I'll call you back." I said.
"Aight."
I sat my phone down on the coffee table, making my way to the stairs. Christian's cries grew louder and he was sobbing uncontrollably. I walked into his room, to find him sitting up in his bed.
"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting on the edge of his race car bed, rubbing his back gently.
He ignored my question, continuing to sob. I pulled him into my arms and began to cry myself. I knew he missed his mom and didn't know where she was. He wanted her and I couldn't give her to him. Seeing him hurt, made me hurt.
"Why? Why did you take her? God please. I can't go on without her." I sobbed, holding Christian tightly in my arms.
At that point, I just wanted her to walk through Christian's door and say "Surprise!" Or something to make me smile. Images of her ran through my mind. When we met each other for the first time, we went in our first date, our first kiss, first time we made love, our wedding day, and the day she had Christian.
I couldn't take it.
But I need to stop crying. YN would never want me to be upset.
I wiped my face and looked at Christian, "It's okay. Shhh, stop crying Chris."
"I want my mommy!" He yelled.
"Chris, stop." I said, trying to hold him in my arms while he squirmed. "I want my mommy! Mommy! Let go of me! Mommy! Mommmmmmy!" He cried.
"Stop!" I held him.
He cried at the top of his lungs, "MOMMMMMY! I WANT MOMMMY!"
I gave up, letting him jumping out of my arms. He ran out of his room, leaving me sitting on his bed. I rubbed my forehead, standing up and walking out the room. Christian was in the room YN and I shared looking for her, hoping she would pop out.
"Chris!" I yelled.
He ignored me and continued to search. He looked in the closet, noticing all of her things. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Mommy! I don't wanna play no more!" He cried.
I walked over to him, picking him up into my arms again but he refused. He kicked, squirmed, cried and hit.
"Stop! Chris, stop!" I yelled and he finally gave up. He continued to cry.
All he wanted was his mother.
~
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- McKenzie.
