rich heart.

thirty-seven.

Two years ago.

Charles and I were engaged for a couple of months, he was busy with his races and I was busy trying to keep my dad sober.
We didn't see each other a lot, because I couldn't join him to a lot of races.

I spend a lot of time in France lately, trying to handle the stores and doing a lot of boring sponsoring events.

I finally arrived back in Monaco and I knew Charles would be in Monaco as well, so I decided to surprise him.

As soon as I walked in his apartment, I noticed something was off. I looked at the high heels in the corner and the purse on the kitchen counter.

They weren't mine, there was some other girl here, with him.

I felt nauseous, but I had to know. Was he still cheating on me? Even after he asked me to marry him?

I opened the door of the bedroom, the bedroom we've spend some awesome times together. Those memories all got replaced quickly. Very quickly.

I slammed the door behind me, I couldn't even look at them. I obviously also didn't want to look at them any longer.

"Noa, wait" he ran after me, but I didn't wait. Why would I?

He grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Let me explain please" he said, which made me laugh. "Explain what? Did you fall in her?"

"You're always away, or not in the mood to do anything" he said. I couldn't believe this. Was he putting the blame on me? "Then you break up with someone, not fucking ask them to marry you" I raised my voice.

He looked down at the ground. "I know" he sighed.

"I can't do this anymore" I said as I dropped his ring down the floor. I wish I had the strength to throw it at his face, to insult him, but I couldn't. I was so devastated, so heartbroken.

I walked out of his apartment and he didn't follow me or convince me to stay.

I left before, but this time I was gonna stay gone, that's for sure.

Present time.

I was sitting outside, alone. I had to think about everything. I looked up at the sky. Was I really about to lose Lando over someone who cheated on me several times?

Was I really that stupid?

"Can I sit with you?" A voice from behind me asked, I didn't recognize the voice immediately so I quickly turned my head. "Of course" I said as soon as I saw it was Max. 

He sat down next to me, not saying another word. We both sat next to each other in silence for a while. It was actually pretty nice.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened or is it none of my business?" he looked at me. I liked how straight forward he was. I sighed. "You probably already know I was engaged to Charles?"

He nodded, obviously someone already told him. "I opened up to Lando, I really did. I like him but something is pulling me back to Charles." Max nodded as if he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"You are pulling yourself back to Charles. You think you opened yourself up to Lando but you didn't. Not completely because you're afraid he will break your heart too" He said. I titled my head as I looked at him. "But you'll never find love again if you keep replaying old memories in your head"

I looked down at my hands as I was listening to him. He was right, I still painted my nails red because Charles liked it that way. I still wore high heels because he thought it was sexy.

"I fucked up Max" I sighed. I started pulling out blades of grass, it was the only thing keeping me from crying.

He grabbed my hands, stopping me from pulling out all the grass. "No, but you have to start deciding who you want"

I looked behind me. Charles and Lando were both on each side of the garden. Lando was walking to the jacuzzi with Carlos and Isa. Charles on the other hand was sitting alone.

"But please, stop breaking his heart" Max looked at me, it was if he already knew who I was gonna choose.

I nodded as I got up. "Thanks Max" I mumbled as I started walking.

"Can I sit with you?" I looked at Charles, he nodded with a smile on his face. I made my decision and I had to stick by it.