Chapter 38

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⚠️Serious content warning for abuse and mention of rape. You have been warned ⚠️

I was deteriorating, wasting away in this cell. Every day, it was the same since I was first thrown in. I screamed so much I lost my voice, yet I still tried to scream. When it was the dead of night, I curled up into a corner and fell asleep.

I was woken up. I don't even know how long later, but it was by a ministry worker. He unlocked my cell, and more of them flead in. They put a black bag over my head and dragged me out. I had nothing in me to fight them, so they dragged me, my knees scraping against the hard floor.

I was propped in a chair, and my hands and legs were tied. It was only then that they finally took the bag off. I was meat with a blinding light pointed at me, I turned my face away. I tried to look where I was.

"Do you know why you're here, Y/n Black." The man behind the lamp asked, I could not see his face. His figure was pitch black, as if he was made with shadows. "Please." I croaked out. "You've been formally charged with 11 counts of harboring fugitives, destruction of ministry property, conspiracy to commit treason, and sedition. The penalty for which is a lifetime rotting in Azkaban." His voice was monotone.

"You have one chance, and only one chance to save your life. Tell us the whereabouts of any of the 11 escapees. Or anyone else who is hiding them. If your information leads to any capture, you will be released from this facility immediately. Do you understand what I'm telling you?" His voice became condescending, teasing me almost.

"You may return to your life, Ms. Black. To your boyfriend, Fred Weasley, back to Hogwart. All you have to do is cooperate." He said, I tried to stare into where I figured his eyes would be. "Go to hell." I muttered weakly with a smirk. Then again, I was bagged.

I was brought to a doctor's room, where my hair was shaved off. I was then thrown back into the cell. Where, I would almost always be curled up in a corner, listening to the screams of others. I was not to shower or clean myself during my period. My only company was the occasional rat. I always gave them any food given to me.

If I wasn't in the corner of the room, I was being questioned, or more like tortured by minister workers. After being nearly drowned in a session, I was thrown back into the cell. I did not fight to get up and go to my corner. That is when I saw it. A thin piece of paper with writing on it, I gathered all my strength to get to the window to have some light to read it.

I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care. I am me. My name is Sirius. I don't think I'll be sane much longer. But I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography that I will ever write, and Merlin sake, I'm writing it on toilet paper. I was born in Islington on 3 November 1959. I don't remember much of those early years, all that they were terrible. I remember my father was almost never around, and my mother was a cruel woman. I remember the rain and how my older cousin Andromeda would say that peace was in the rain. I had a younger brother, Regulus, who had befriended our house elf. I was left with no one. That was until I went to Hogwarts. It was on the train there my first year I met James, another pureblood, but from a family much different than my own. It was also there I met Remus, a quiet halfblood raised in a muggle orphanage. I also met Peter. The four of us stuck together. I liked them all in their own way, but I preferred Remus. I liked his wrist. They were beautiful. He liked my curls. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teachers telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew. We didn't, but we knew how to hide it better as the years went on. I met a girl named Emily. She was a bright and kind girl, Remus liked her because she was into all the same things as him, I liked her because she was always up for a challenge, and for some fun. She also knew how to hold a grudge. The three of us fell in love. Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch, we are free.

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