The New Batman Adventures - A Bounty Hunter's Love

The Three Babes

The New Batman Adventures 'Fan Fiction Love Story'

By Tayla Drago

Gotham Girls

Episode #99 - The Three Babes

Harley Quinn sits, bored, in a prison cell where Poison Ivy and Catwoman are both asleep.

"What?!" ask Catwoman.

"I'm bored!" said Harley.

But like she cared.

"Take a catnap."

Well, Harley was bored right now.

"I can't!"

"Then bother Ivy." she said to go back to sleep like a real cat.

After failing to elicit a response from Catwoman, she bothers Poison Ivy for a story. She suggests 'Jack and The Beanstalk', but Poison Ivy responds that she hates it. Harley then tries 'Sleeping Beauty' and 'Princess in The Pea', but Poison Ivy dislikes those stories as well.

"Tell me a story! Jack and the Beanstalk!"

But Ivy hates some stories with plants in it.

"I hate that story. Rife with plant abuse."

So Harley kept on guessing...

"Sleeping Beauty?"

"Apple abuse."

Wasn't that Snow White though?

"Princess and the Pea?" Poison Ivy just gives her a look. "I know. Pea abuse..." Harley tires one more thing. "Goldilocks?"

And so, Ivy agrees to tell her that story instead.

"This is a story of Goldilocks."

With one thing to not have in it on Harley's opinion.

"But no bears! I hate bears! PEEEWWW!"

Hey, I like bears. Even for Megan overhears it in the other room from her computer book.

"Oh, this should be good." she said to listen in. "Nothing beats better from work than some story time."

In the end, they go with 'Goldilocks'... without, at Harley's request, any bears. So begins the story of 'Goldilocks and the Three Babes'.

Ivy tells the story of the 'Three Babes' (herself, Harley, and Catwoman) going on a walk to let their food cool while 'Goldilocks' (Batgirl) invades their house.

"...when who should break in but-"

Harley says it for Ivy.

"Goldilocks?"

"Yeah. Except this one had pointy ears and a black cowl." she said.

She discards Catwoman and Ivy's food in favor of Harley's, goes through a similar routine by sitting down in their chairs...and then Catwoman hurries her through the 'bed' segment to the part where they catch her. Goldilocks tries to escape but is dragged back and thoroughly beaten up by the Three Babes. She finally manages to flee the scene and is never seen again. And for Megan to say about the story...

"Ah, yeah. That was kind of new..." said Megan. "Not bad, girls."

Harley applauds the story told by Ivy, Catwoman is ambivalent, and Batgirl arrives at their cell to express her approval at 'a happy ending'.

"Ah...I love a happy ending, don't you? This one's just right." said Batgirl to be waving to them.

"Tell me about it."

The two girl superheroes high five each other, and they once against stopped the three villains. The end. But still, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, what a classic story that is.