The New Batman Adventures - A Bounty Hunter's Love

Love is a Croc

The New Batman Adventures 'Fan Fiction Love Story'

By Tayla Drago

Episode #105 - Love is a Croc

On a rerun from Love that Baby, a popular television show from the past, two parents come home from the store with groceries, only to find that their entire house has been flooded with bubble bath foam. Baby Doll? This person again?! The rerun is airing on a television in a Gotham City motel lobby. A married couple currently staying at the motel, the wife half-carrying the husband, walk into the lobby as the man asks if it's the right place as the floor is tilting.

"You sure this is the right hotel?" Harry asks his wife. "I don't remember the floor going up hill."

Is this guy drunk or something?

"It's your head that's tilting." she then sees her husband trying to find something. "What now?!"

"The key. It must have fell out when the sidewalk hit me." His wife responds that it's his head that is tilting, and to her silent infuriation it turns out he lost their room key 'when the sidewalk hit him'; he's clearly drunk.

The woman approaches the front desk agent to explain about their room key. When the childlike woman uses a bar stool, which she's standing on, to get them a duplicate key from the board, the husband recognizes the employee to be Mary Louise Dahl, the former star of Love that Baby. Despite his wife's horrified protest, the drunken lout rudely points out that she is a has-been, and insensitively talks about her condition that doesn't allow her to grow, saying that it caused her 'to go nuts and tried to kill Batman'. He muses Dahl's bun to release her hair and tells her to 'Do something funny'. Having finally reached the end of her patience, she responds in kind by grabbing him by the nose, slamming his face into the sign-in book and slamming the cover on his head. Still angry but with calm sarcasm, she tells the husband...

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." said Dahl. "Why don't they ever understand? I'm not a baby. I'm not a child! I'm just...different!" Dahl stalks out of the lobby and into her room, where she goes into an emotional rage, lamenting how she's 'just different' from everyone else.

She then turns on the television and watches the live courtroom competency hearing of Killer Croc, who pleads to the judge that he has been the victim of persecution because he is 'just different' from everyone else.

"Have you anything to say before I pass judgment?" the judge asks Killer Croc.

"Yeah. I'm a victim of prejudice." he said. "Look at me! Nobody understands how rough my lives been. Just 'cause I'm different."

Yeah, but only because he kills for fun to be so messed up. Dahl lights up, believing she has found a kindred spirit.

"Nevertheless, it is the judgment of this court that you, Killer Croc, are competent to stand trial for murder in the first degree."

Unmoved by Croc's speech, the judge finds him mentally competent to stand trial for first degree murder. Once the judge says that, Croc cuts loose to cause trouble again.

"Competent! Competent? That's an insult, you old bag of gas!" he breaks free. "I'm not just competent, I'm as good as it gets!"

Croc becomes enraged and breaks free from his straitjacket and shackles, causing a panic. Bailiffs and orderlies try to sedate Croc, but his savage strength easily overpowers them. Megan sees this going on and quickly calls up her boyfriend.

"Killer Croc again...? Yo, Bruce, it's me. You know what's happening? Good, then I'll meet you there." Megan tells him.

Dahl cheers for him to escape. Croc jumps out a window and begins a rampage, but Batman and Megan arrived, knocking his head through the grille of a moving truck even for Megan gives Killer Croc a double kick while she was at it.