Philocalist (Sirius Black love story)

Chapter 28

The sounds of soft snoring filled the once hectic Hospital Wing. All four boys had been sleeping, thanks to Madam Pomfrey's work. Evalyn sat up in her own bed before tiptoeing over to James' bed. She held his hand in a sisterly manner as she let out silent tears. In one night, she had almost lost some of the closest people to her. She couldn't even imagine how James and Remus would feel.

There was a weak squeeze on her hand. Her eyes darted to the Potter boy who was now awake. He had a smile on his face, but there was no light in his eyes.

"Don't do that James." She whispered. He scooted over and patted the space next to him. Evalyn laid down softly, to not hurt his injuries. "Don't pretend to be alright for my sake. It's okay to be upset. You don't have to be everyone's happiness all of the time." Her green eyes followed the movement of the first tear that slipped down his cheek. In the next minute, several more poured out and he clutched for her hands.

"Why would he do that? I don't know if I can forgive him. He went too far this time. Mooney is going to be crushed." He buried his head into her shoulder to quiet his sobs. Evalyn brushed her free hand through his messy curls. "You don't have to forgive him. Not yet. He broke everyone's trust. You all need time."

James glanced up at her, his hazel eyes were bloodshot and puffy. "I don't want you to lose you though. I just got a sister." She smiled softly at him. "You won't lose me James, I already told him that I will not give up someone to please somebody else. Get some rest, I'll check on Rem. I will get the notes from Lily and the others so you can miss classes for a couple days. I've got you James." Evalyn got out of the bed, tucked the boy in and gave him one last smile. He nodded at her and closed his eyes to try to get more sleep.

Before she made it to Remus, she stopped by to see Peter. He had the least injuries, but still wanted to be close to his mates. She smiled softly when his nose twitched and placed a sugar quill on the stand next to him.

As she got to Remus' side, she closed the curtain behind her and took a seat in the chair next to his bed. Her eyes grazed over the many bandages covering his body. Making sure to wipe away the tears from her eyes, she plastered on a mask to hide her emotions. The werewolf needed someone who would be strong for him when he woke up. Mentally, she prepared what she was going to tell him. Remus, being unconscious since he transformed back, still had no idea of the horrors of the night.

Another hour went by before honey brown eyes met her green ones. Her heart pounded when she saw the flash of worry in his eyes. He knew something was wrong, he could feel it. He tried to sit up, but he groaned in pain and Evalyn put a small hand on his shoulder to stop him.

After she informed him of the events, he sat there, an empty shell of the snarky soft boy everyone adored. His hands covered his face as he let out a gut wrenching sob. No words were said as she let him process the events.

"I'm a monster. They are going to expel me. Send me to Azkaban. Snape is going to tell everyone." He ran his hand through his hair anxiously.
"No Rem. You are not a monster. You are my best mate. Frankly, I'd trust you with my life. You read books for fun and some of your favorite moments are matching your socks and getting a new sweater. Also you don't have to worry about Snape or being expelled or sent to Azkaban. Me and good old Dumbles handled it." Eventually, his crying stopped and he eyed her bandaged arm.

"Did I—" Evalyn shook her head quickly. "It's just a scratch. I got you back though." She tried lightening the mood by cracking her knuckles with a wink. His sadness shifted to anger.

"I trusted that sorry sod. I trusted him and he thought it'd be a fun game to make me a murderer. How could he do that to me? And James. That's supposed to be his brother and I could have killed him." His words were filled with hatred and disgust as his tone started to raise. "I know he isn't fond of Snape but that's just shite. And you! He put you in danger! What kind of immature arse would do that to the girl he fancies?!?"

At this point James had limped over and joined. Remus avoided his eyes and started to cry again. "I can't believe I hurt you two. I'm so sorry." James sat down on the end of Remus' bed.
"Mooney, this was not your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself. There is only one person to be blamed for this. He will face the consequences for his rash decision."

Evalyn decided to pipe up. "I know you have love for him Remus. And I know you feel like you don't want to lose the few friends you have because you think they are the only ones who will accept you. But protect your heart. Don't let that blindness force you to forgive him if you don't truly mean it. Do not excuse his actions because you're afraid. We are still here for you, we still love you whether you choose to have him in your life or not." She gave his forehead a friendly kiss and slid a chocolate bar into his hands.

"I don't know if I will ever forgive him." Evalyn grabbed his hand and nodded with a solemn smile. "We don't expect you to Remus." James agreed and said he would stick with Remus for the next few hours, so he'd have company while he slept. As the werewolf drifted back to sleep, the bespectacled boy looked at Evalyn with a sad look.

"You'll be there for Padfoot right? I'm not sure he can handle being alone right now." Evalyn let a tear slip and tried to give a reassuring grin. "I'll be there for all of you boys. I won't let any of you slip through the cracks. I can't lose anyone else."

Unbeknownst to them, a certain animagus was hiding in the shadows on the other side of the curtain. He had heard everything and went back to where his bed was and shut the curtains. Sirius curled up into a ball and muttered a muffliato. He cried and cried, guilt and self deprecating thoughts swarmed his mind.