Life In Smallville

What We Deserve

(Just want to remind everyone to comment once again. It's the only thing I really get out of publishing this. In-line comments are also the absolute best thing about wattpad, so let's put them to use)

Kara Kent-Lang turned her head away the second she heard her husband waking up. He yawned and looked over at Kara before closing his eyes again, not moving. This surprised Kara, usually he'd wake up and immediately try to get her out of bed.

They lay there for twenty minutes before Kara spoke up. "What are you playing at?" She asked quietly as she turned to look again at the boy.

"You've elected to just lay here and hurt yourself. I'm going to do the same" (y/n) replied simply as he opened his eyes and looked back at Kara.

"Whatever you say" Kara shook her head and looked away again. "You won't hurt yourself, you hate when people do that to much"

(Y/n) stayed silent and stared at Kara for another moment. "You're right, I do" he grabbed Kara's hand before her sluggish brain could process what she was doing and slashed at his arm with her fingernails.

"(Y/n)!" Kara yelped in surprise as she pulled away and stared at the blood that was starting to come out of the scratches. "What the fuck?!"

The boy was silent, ignoring the pain as he bled. Kara quickly used her freeze breath to slow the breathing. "Still believe I won't do anything?"

Kara was silent as she shook her head in response.

"Good" (y/n) reached over to Kara and wiped a forming tear away. "Now we're going to talk, understood? You're going to answer my questions and you're going to understand mine or I promise you I will gut myself like a fish"

Kara nodded quickly. "Okay, okay let's do that" she whispered as she looked down at the fresh blood in her fingernails.

"What the fuck are you doing Kara?" (Y/n) asked as he crossed his arms, blood spilling onto the blanket. "You can get past this if you tried and we both know it. You've helped me help people before and you know exactly what is needed to get better" there was no reply. "answer me" the boy demanded.

"You deserve better" Kara whispered as she looked down at her scars. "I'm ugly and deformed and mentally fucked up. I don't deserve you, especially after everything I've put you through since we came back"

(Y/n) frowned as he processed those words. "Kara I'm very sorry but I'm exactly what you deserve. And you are exactly what I deserve" the boy spoke as if that was a bad thing. "I'm mentally fucked up, I'm a screwup, and I'm a criminal. Up until this whole episode I would have said that you deserved better but now? Now I'm exactly what you deserve"

Kara shook her head violently. "No, no, no! You don't understand" she clutched her head with both hands, her nails digging into her skin. "That's-"

"I don't understand?" (Y/n) asked with a small laugh. "Are you joking? Me? I absolutely understand" (y/n) grabbed Kara's hands and forced them off of her head and into his own, squeezing so roughly he would have broken a normal girls hands. "You call this a breakdown? I went missing for three months! I left you alone and trying to find me all that time while another consciousness controlled my body!" His sudden screaming at Kara frightened her and she didn't try to hide it. "I did bad things, terrible things. I made you kill. You remember that?"

Kara had forgotten. She had blocked it out mentally but now she remembered. It had only been an animal but it had been a life. And she had taken it because of him.

"However bad you are I am worse, I promise you that" (y/n) growled as he continued to hold Kara still. "I'm a psychopath. When I close my eyes... I see terrible things, horrible things. Things I don't want to do but at the same time I do want to do, things that would hurt people"

Kara was silent as she listened. She remembered all the bad things the boy had ever done. All the horrific dreams he had told her about. That was only one half of his personality and they both knew it, but it was still him. "How- how do you live with that?" Kara whispered as she began to cry once again.

(Y/n) was silent as he considered his words. "You grab that pain and hold it tight-" he began as he held Kara's hands tighter. "-so tight it hurts even more. Then you say this: you say that you'll never let anyone you love live like this, you'll never let anyone you love feel this way. Not on your watch" somehow he held Kara's hands even tighter. "Yet you seem determined to feel that way anyways"

Kara continued to cry as she slowly leaned her head forward and held it against that of her husband's head. "I'm sorry" she whispered as quietly as she could.

"You should be" the boy replied bluntly. "You're a good person. If you weren't sorry then you would be to much like me, a Kryptonian like me is the biggest thing that this planet could never afford to have" Kara let out a small laugh at that, a sound the boy had wanted to hear again for weeks.

"You're wrong" Kara whispered as she finally pulled her hand away and wiped her tears away. "The world needs more Kryptonians like you. People who knows wrong from right, even if they struggle with it"

"Maybe you're right" (y/n) replied as he pulled his hands back and stared Kara in the eye. "And you need to be that Kryptonian right now. You need to do the right thing and stop pitying yourself. Stop killing yourself. Never kill again. Just get out of bed, go downstairs, and show your family that you're willing to get better, show yourself that you're willing to get better"

Kara was silent once again as she stared back into the boys eyes. "Could you forgive me?" She asked quietly. "For everything I've done?" She motioned to her scarred arms and body. "What I've done to push you away and to push myself away"

"Of course I can" (y/n) replied quietly. "Kara every marriage has its issues, ours just so happen to be more suicidal than most others. And you know what happens in a good marriage? The husband and wife work through it"

"Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce" Kara whispered in response as she teared up again.

"Because it's socially acceptable now" (y/n) replied simply. "Some people actually should be divorced, however people now decide that instead of working through their issues they should get divorced. We are not going to be like that. Never ever. I forgive you, and I love you, and I always will"

Kara nodded slowly. "Alright" she sat up and once more wiped her tears away. "I- I'll try now. I promise" her voice became more shaky with each word as she cried.

"Good" (y/n) sat up as well and took Kara's hand in his bloody one. "Let's go downstairs then alright? Have something to eat"

"Okay" Kara whispered because that was all she could say without breaking down again.

Word count: 1265

(Thoughts on this chapter? I felt it was a good way to start the healing process)