Just The 2 Of Us

Chapter 52: Just Letting Go

As soon as the man left, a hopeless Nanon sat on the floor and started sobbing.

"Non, Non, Non." Ohm immediately went to him and pulled the singer to his arms. He held the singer's face with both his hands, noticing that the concealer the younger had applied earlier that morning was already running down his cheek, washed over by the tears gushing from his eyes. He then saw the mark of his palm there. It was ugly and denouncing. That cheek was probably hurting as much as his. He told himself that if he wasn't as drunk as he was the night before, he probably wouldn't have put that amount of strength into that slap. He tried to convince himself that if he was sober he certainly wouldn't have raised his hand at all. He wanted to believe that if Ananda had not showed up they could've had a clean break up. But all those ifs didn't change what had already happened, and they were both hurting, physically, and emotionally. There was a big mirror across the room reflecting their disgraceful state, and Ohm caught himself staring at it for a long minute. There were so many things wrong in that picture that he could barely stand to stare at it, but he did. He wondered how that reflection could turn into something less heart-breaking sight.

"Take your hands off me!" Nanon struggled to escape from his embrace, but the older refused to free him so fast.

"Do you see it? Do you see that, Non?" Ohm grabbed his chin firmly and forced him to look at the mirror beholding them. The singer cried harder when he watched their both weeping, bruised faces, agonizing in that mirror. "This is not happiness. This is not us. I can't accept that, and neither should you. I guess your plan failed. We can't bury our heads in the sand anymore. Sex can't fix it, forgiveness can't either. Now we both want this to be over. Our engagement is cancelled, for good. We're not boyfriends, or fiancés. Every single promise, and proposals are nulled. We're not friends, nor soulmates. We can't be. Our bond is completely severed. Our magic connection has just faded away."

He said that and let go of him, literally. Nanon saw him stand up, not caring about how the blanket slipped from his waist and revealed his naked skin, still marked by the traces of their lovemaking from the night before. A distraught Nanon chewed on his lips, immobile, as he observed Ohm take a few items out of his closet and put it in a bag. They were all Nanon's, and the singer was well aware of that.

"Did he force himself on you? Did he rape you?" The singer grimaced as he looked away. He hated the sound of his own words. It brought back all the shit he went through with Mark Pakin, his former good friend. He asked those questions to himself a thousand times, whenever he tried to remember what happened the night he was roofied in a bar. He would hate to think that his lover went through the same nightmarish experience.

"No. It was the other way around. He wanted me to hurt him... It was fucked up, you don't wanna know." Ohm replied acerbically. Nanon needed to know more. He craved to understand what really happened.

"I do. I do wanna know. I need to figure this out! If it was not cheating, if he demanded stuff from you, if he blackmailed you, I mean, you were helpless, right? It's not like you had a choice. You were his victim-"

"I liked hurting him. That's the part you'll never understand." Ohm confessed, shocking the younger on the floor.

"What do you mean you liked it?!" The singer didn't know if he really wanted to keep hearing that.

"I came Nanon. Every single time. He didn't lie about that."

"Oh, my God. He changed you. Just like he said he would." Nanon was genuinely worried now. "He got into your head, Ohm, you need a therapist right away and-"

"No. Don't you get it? This has always been me. I like causing people pain, I get off on it. I realized that about myself a long time ago. Ananda was only able to see through me when he met me." Ohm revealed emotionlessly. He just had to get Nanon out of his life, it didn't matter how. Whatever negative opinion the singer had of him would not be refuted at that moment.