Just The 2 Of Us

Chapter 63: Just borrowed Souls

A nauseated Nanon ran to the bow of the boat and started vomiting all the cookies he had earlier. He felt sick in every single way. However, Ohm wouldn't stop narrating that repulsive story.

"This is the only meeting I recorded. After that, I just couldn't recognize myself anymore. And whenever he called me, I would be there. It was better than therapy. I got to hurt him, I needed to hurt him, so I hurt him. And I got used to the violence of that cruel kind of sex. He unleashed a part of me, an ugly one that I didn't know I had. I just-"

Nanon wiped his mouth, turned to him again, and slapped his ex before he could finish his sentence. A taken aback Ohm shut up and let the younger take the phone from his hand. "That's the way you found to punish yourself for whatever the hell you did to those kids in middle school?! Or perhaps, the way you found to redeem yourself for taking Mark's words over mine when I most needed you to trust me? You're full of regrets, aren't you, Pawat? Your guilt drove you to dangerous paths. Don't you see what Ananda did to you? He used your vulnerability against you! You're not evil, you're not a monster! You're not that person Ananda has made you believe! He conditioned you, he got into your head! You weren't hurting him in that bed! You were hurting yourself! That was a blunt manner of self-harm! He made you hate yourself even more than you already did! And you were so fucked up that you didn't even realize how insidiously he was worming his way inside you. He knew you would never take this disturbing confession to the authorities. This video could only put you us in more trouble than we already were." Nanon spat and threw the phone in the sea in exasperation.

"Nanon, what did you do!?" An astonished Ohm moved toward him and Nanon flinched a little. The older noticed that, and for a moment he couldn't bear reading the fear in the singer's eyes.

"You don't need that. How many times have you watched that shit? Just let it go! You're nothing like him!" Nanon spoke in a trembling voice. Ohm took another step forward, and the singer's eyes pleaded him to stay away.

"Are you afraid of me? You've just said I am not the monster Ananda made me believe I am. What's wrong? Do you think I might do to you what I did to him?" Ohm asked in a rather intimidating tone, as he towered over the younger.

"Take me back. I wanna go home." Nanon whispered in a weak voice as he cowered and started to breathe faster.

"I'll take you back, and then what? You're gonna let me make love to you in order to celebrate our reconciliation? Isn't that how you like it? We kiss and make up, and to hell with the rest of the world?" Ohm asked in a cynical tone.

"Back off a little, okay? This is all too much." Nanon's voice came out as a shaky whisper, though he felt like shouting at the older.

"Remember what you told me in Chiang Mai? You said, and I quote, 'I want you to tell me about you and Ananda, no matter how abhorrent and traumatic it was to be with him, I need to know, so we can move on from this shitty phase'. There, I did my part, ter. I gave you what you wanted. Now, give me what I want, Non. I want us to be together again." Ohm pressed, as he sought his ex's hand, but Nanon rejected the contact.

"You don't know what you're asking." A panting Nanon closed his eyes and tried to pace his breathing. "Give me some space, will you?"

"Are you gonna have a panic attack, babe?" Ohm asked coldly. He hated to see Nanon behaving like he didn't know him. Yes, Ohm Pawat could really harm people if they gave him a proper reason for it, but he would never damage Nanon Korapat's lovely face, even if he wanted to. He had laid a slap on that soft cheek once, but he meant to hit Nutty. Now, he would rather break all his fingers in tiny pieces than ever raise his hand against him again.