Let There Be Light

Chapter Forty One

**Ghost's POV**

The ride back to base with Laswell was a quiet one. I think she knew better than to ask me anything or speak, nonetheless. My body was tense, and my mind was going a mile a minute. I had so much on my mind, and I was trying to think of a game plan that would allow me to get Harley back.

'That will be the last time you will ever lay eyes on her again'. Michaels words sent chills down my spine as they replayed over in my head like a broken record. I had to find her; she was my everything and I would kill anyone that tried to stop me.

The SUV came to a stop at the base, and I was quickly out of my thoughts. What was once our 'new home' now felt like an abandoned facility. Without her, I felt like I was nothing. Price, Gaz and Soap were standing off staring at our SUV waiting for us to get out. I could already hear Price now "You fucked this up Simon" and I dared him to even utter those words. Captain or not, I tried my fucking best.

I get out and head in their direction. "Briefing room," Price says the closer I got. They all turned, and we all headed into the room I was now beginning to hate. The briefing room felt like a dead end that would lead to nowhere and just hopeless dreams.

Alejandro and Rudy were already in there when I opened the door and the look on their faces said it all – 'I'm sorry'. My glance at them was brief as I took my usual chair away from everyone. I hadn't put my mask on yet and honestly, I didn't want to. What was the point? The enemy had seen my face and now I knew without a shadow of a doubt, everyone was soon going to see who Ghost was.

The briefing room filled with my familiar people ad everyone took their same seats. Soap sat next to me and couldn't seem to look me in the eye. I hated it. I lost Harley and now I feel like I'm also losing my best friend too.

"Johnny," I say under my breath to where only he could hear me. He doesn't look at me but cocks his head to the side. "I tried my best." He nods his head slowly before dropping it. I watch him as tears fall from his eyes.

"The Ghost I knew wouldn't have given a fuck. He would have tried harder, and he would had been successful." His words stabbed me in the heart as I watched him get up from his chair and move closer to Alejandro and Rudy. The sad part about it, he was right. I let my emotions get in the way which was something I never did. I could never blame Harley for it. I allowed myself to become more human that a war machine that I was taught to be.

Price cleared his throat, eyeing me as I came out of my thoughts. "I think we all have a lot on our minds right now," he started. I stared back at him as I felt all eyes one me. I fucked up. "I think it goes without saying that other precautions could have taken place, but," he pauses as he lights a cigar and blows out a puff of smoke, "What's done is done. Now we have to fix it."

I hang my head as I not only put Harley and my life at risk, I cost one of ours, their life. "Before we proceed, I would like to take a moment of silence for our beloved brother Nik. May he rest in peace on the other side." I could hear the hurt in Price's voice. Him and Nik weren't the closest, but they damn sure were always there for each other.

The room fell quiet as everyone just seemed to stay as still as possible. Every minute felt like a minute wasted that we could have been thinking of a plan to fix this. To fix my fuck up. The ticking of the clock on the wall was becoming too loud with each tick on the second. My heart began to race faster than my thoughts and before I knew it, I was standing, and everyone was looking at me.

"Sit Simon," Price told me coldly. The glare in his eyes was unfamiliar to me but familiar to his enemies.

"I-I'm sorry," I stutter out. I felt this lump in my throat form, and it was getting harder to speak. "I did som-something that I swore I-I would never do and it co-costed me. It cost the team," I take in a deep breath. "I truly am s-sorry." The feeling inside of me was something I hadn't felt in a long time, and I swore to myself that I wouldn't allow myself to feel it again – but when you shake a closed bottle long enough, it too will bust.