The Ruined Rainbow

CHAPTER 93

A/N: Happy New Year to all you beautiful souls. I pray all of you have outstanding, fulfilling lives abounded with infinite joy. 2k24 is going to be your year!
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Thank you.

Sahil

After dropping Ayesha back to Andheri, I proceeded to return to Juhu. I promised to call her when I finished speaking to my parents, and she told me again that it would be a beautiful reunion; no matter how many cracks appeared at the bay, they would mend and form a better picture, a beautiful picture.

She always had a way with her words.

My return to Juhu well past midnight was laden with memories and echoes of the past. The route from Andheri to Juhu, which I had travelled a thousand times before, now seemed to be a trip down memory lane. Every familiar landmark, restaurant, and bus stop reeked of that time when I struggled to become an actor. That time when I hardly made enough money. That time when I ran errands to make ends meet.

The city lights and the towering cityscape painted a picture of dreams and struggles as I drove through the vibrant streets of Mumbai. Memories of auditions, rejection slips, and the hustle echoed in the deserted corridors of my mind.

I was undoubtedly not repulsed by the tests and trials of fame. They had invariably shaped me into the person I am today. I was more upset that I had none when I wanted someone the most. I never had a family when I needed one.

When I reached home, I quietly unlocked the doors and tiptoed. My eyes glance at the closed door of the guest room. I sneaked up and slightly pushed the door ajar. Both my parents were sleeping on the bed. I slowly pulled back the door and went to the verandah.

Standing beneath the glittery sky and afore the glittery city, I did something I should have probably done ages ago. 

I dissected every piece of emotion that had been carefully tucked away. 

Leaning against the railing, I allowed my thoughts to flow freely.

The layers of resentment, pain, and unspoken words surfaced, each demanding acknowledgement. A wave of understanding washed over me—a realisation that healing wasn't a linear journey but a mosaic of moments, each contributing to restoring fractured bonds.

The cool night air wrapped around me like a comforting embrace, yet my legs felt rooted to the verandah floor. When rationale would return to me, I would be subjected to an annoying leg pain, I told myself. But then, I also told myself to keep quiet and start introspecting.

As I stood there, a silhouette against the glittering skyline, I realised the moment's weight. Composing myself for a conversation wasn't just about addressing the past; it was about facing the shadows that lingered within, confronting the echoes of a time that had shaped me.

With a deep breath, I acknowledged the pain that lingered in the recesses of my heart.

My gaze remained fixed on the glittery city below, its luminous glow contrasting with the shadows within. People, including myself, often make the same mistake repeatedly—I acknowledged this truth. This truth echoed in the depths of my struggles.

The temptation to run away from pain, to cloak it in the veil of denial, was a familiar path.

Why? 

Because the very prospect of facing a truth so unpleasant makes every vein in your body back off. It's the instinct to shield yourself from the harshness, the gloominess, and the intensity that pain can carry. Yes, even I succumbed to the allure of avoidance. It's easier to drown in an infinite loop of unsought justifications and unnecessary explanations than to confront the magnitude of pain.