Crazy || Hyunlix

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Jeongin was currently eating the food with Seungmin at the office. The love was floating around the room as always when they were together.

"I was thinking.. maybe if we moved houses, I have enough now
To buy us a bigger house."

"Why have a bigger house?"

Seungmin just slowly sat the fork down, "I was thinking that we should have a family." Jeongins face fell a little, he just smiled a little nervously.

"Ah.." jeongin mumbled a little, "I know you always avoid the topic but this is what I want—"

"But what about what I want?"

Seungmin just sighed.

"Why do you always avoid this?"

"Why do you bring it up seungmin," Jeongin asked, firing it back. They were doing so well til now. Seungmin never got mad, he was always calm. Which is why jeongin was so guilty of the way he acted.

Sometimes he felt as if Seungmin was too good for him. Seungmin wasn't an emotional mess like him, Seungmin didn't have overthinking thoughts like this.

Seungmin didn't think of his past like how jeongin did. Seungmin was too good for him. "Why are you so scared of committing to me? You were scared of our marriage, jeongin, talk to me."

"I've never been loved like this, I'm sorry," Jeongin said lightly. How could Seungmin of all people not know this? Seungmin took a deep breath, noticing the guilty look.

"It's okay, we're getting there, I promise."

"I'm going to go home, probably clean, or something." Jeongin smiled, the awkward topic always brought them to this. "Okay," Seungmin said, his breath letting go as well when he said this.

Seungmin just couldn't understand, how much he wanted to give up the patience he had with jeongin. Jeongin sometimes wasn't the best to be with considering his hurtful past.

He always over-questioned his past, during odd moments as well, questioning if he does things right and if he's good enough. He questions his worth.

That's the aftermath of dating a dick like Chan. Or whatever their relationship was.

Jeongin hesitantly knocked, a small smile as he fixed himself to look the least bit presentable for some reason. The apartment door was a little worn down.

Ever since he moved into the luxury of Kim Seungmin he hadn't been in an apartment like this, he didn't dress as 'poor' anymore.

Jeongins eyes dashed to the sudden figure, staring into Chan's eyes. Noticing how the life seemed to be drained from them.

"Hey, I brought you some groceries if you need any!"

"Oh, jeongin. Hey, what are you doing here?" Chan fully stepped outside of the door, closing it quickly so he could stop jeongin from coming in. He hadn't left the house in a month or two and only went to work.

He rotted there for months, eating noodles all the time and declining anything that came his way.

"I just wanted to stop by, is it a bad time?"

"No, of course not, but I thought Seung-min didn't—"

"He doesn't know."

Chan just slowly sighed, looking down away from jeongin. This would be a bad look from the outside.

"Jeongin you shouldn't be here.. he's possessive over you."

"I'm not good enough for him, I'm too... unstable and I think I'm being annoying and such a bother because you always told me I was— I keep fucking reflecting on us, I'm scared to mess this up for Seungmin."

Chan felt guilt eat him alive, listening to Jeongin's words, honestly, he knew it was his fault. He came to accept it but seeing and hearing jeongins made him
worse.

Almost angry.

"And why are you telling me this jeongin? It happened in high school, years ago."

"I don't know why. I just wanted to talk to you, you bring peace and I just—" he cut himself off, looking at Chan. Chan was speechless.

"Seungmin should be the one to do that, not me." He was right but Seungmin was too good for him, not saying he would leave Seungmin but it was obvious jeongin wasn't anything compared to Seungmin.

"Yeah, but you're an amazing person to talk to, and I don't understand why we can't be friends. He tells me to not be around you, but you're an amazing person to talk to and listen to."

"You know I still love you right?"

Jeongins face fell upon hearing this.

"What?"

"Seungmin didn't tell you that? That's why he doesn't want you around me.. he's scared I'm gonna do something to you, or with you." Chan muttered. He just opened his door wider stepping back into it. He didn't want to speak to jeongin anymore.

So he didn't.

He shut the door infront of him, locking it back.

_________________

Hii