choose | luke hemmings

chapter 33✿

It had been ten days.Ten days since the day I got back to Sydney, and ten days since i've seen or spoken to Michael.

The first day was terrible. I spent it alone in my room, either crying or staring at the ceiling. Luke knocked on my door relentlessly. For a few hours he even sat outside my door, begging for me to come out. I knew he didn't deserve this but, I just needed to be alone. After Luke finally gave up and went downstairs, I quickly went to the bathroom. Then once he went to bed, I went to get food. I fell asleep crying.

The second day was even worse. I tried to text Michael, but my text bounced back which could only mean one thing―he blocked my number. This sent me into a break down. I threw my phone against the wall that day, causing it to shatter. As I went to retrieve it from the floor, I slid down the wall and ended up sitting in the corner for the rest of the day and part of the night. I stopped crying eventually. I think I was out of tears seeing as I cried so many of them lately. I just sat there. Luke knocked a bunch of times, but he didn't push it very much. When I finally managed to get myself out of the corner, I went to bed staring at the ceiling.

The third day was slightly better the past two. But ever so slightly. I stayed in bed all day, without shedding a single tear. My phone had died overnight but I hadn't been bothered to charge it. Luke only knocked a few times, but didn't try very hard to get me to come out. Calum came over. He tried to get me to come out too, but I heard Luke tell him not to bother. I could tell Luke was really trying to understand what I was going through, but I knew he was getting irritated with my behaviour. I don't blame him.

Day four was faintly better than days before it. I actually got up out of bed; only to get the Xbox from the game room downstairs and bring it to my room. Then the rest of the day I played Call of Duty in bed. Luke was online too. He messaged me and told me he's there for me, but I didn't reply. He tried to start several games with me, but I declined them all. I got off the game and went to bed early. I thought about Michael before I went to bed, but I had thought of him a lot less through that day.

Day five was even better than day four. I took a shower, which I desperately needed. I got changed in clothes other than my pyjamas. Even though it was sweatpants and one of Luke's old t-shirts, it was a start. I had breakfast with Luke this day. In silence. He had tried to start several conversations, but I didn't want to talk. After breakfast, I decided to go for a short walk. The fresh air helped to clear my head. Even though I only went to the end of the street and back, it really did help. The rest of the day I spent in bed playing video games and writing in my journal.

Day six was―okay. It was an okay day. Not good, but okay. I finally got around to charging my phone, and when it turned on I got tons of messages from Luke, Cal, Ash, Cora, and my dad. They all said basically the same thing. They hope i'm alright and they're there if I need them. But that's just it. I didn't need them, I needed my brother. I made slight conversation with Luke this day. Even though I just peaked my head in his bedroom door and said, "go online" referring to Call of Duty. He smiled though; and seeing Luke's smile was enough to make my day better than it had been before. We didn't talk at all on the mic or in messages, but just knowing he was there made me feel slightly better.

Day seven was good. Not great―but good. I talked to Luke more. We made conversation over breakfast, and even made some jokes. Jokes that I normally wouldn't laugh at; but since they were coming from the boy I love, it made them all the funnier. I went to his room with him and cuddled all day. We didn't speak much, but we didn't need to. Just being in Luke's presence made me feel better. I feel asleep on Luke, with our hands intertwined and my head on his chest. This was the first day I had felt home again.

The eighth day was even better. I woke up in Luke's arms, which started my day off strong. The eighth day was the first time I had kissed Luke in what felt like forever. This kiss was different than our many others though. This kiss was filled with tenderness and caution, almost as if Luke was afraid he'd break me. He told me he was scared that I didn't love him anymore, but I assured him that I probably wouldn't ever stop. Luke helped me finally unpack all my things and put them away. We went to the diner together for dinner, and then Calum and Ashton came over for movie night. It was Luke's turn to choose the movie, so he chose Ferris Bueller's Day Off, probably because he knew this was one of my all time favourites. After the movie, the guys went home and Luke and I went to bed. Day eight was the first day I hadn't thought about Michael―at all.