choose | luke hemmings

chapter 63✿

I lay on my bed in tears over the encounter that happened with Luke just a few hours ago. I can't believe he's moving all the way to England. I understand that he wants to be with Liz but for God sake's, he's nineteen years old. I moved away from my father when I was only seventeen, and it was all to be with Luke. I gave up my whole regular life to be with Luke, and now he's just going to go and move halfway across the world?

Ben and Jack both moved out years ago and started families of their own. Why can't Luke get that opportunity? Why can't he be with the girl he loves just like they get to be?

I can't just wait around all year for him to come home every Christmas and summer. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to him. I wouldn't be able to live like that. But, at the same time, I don't think I could live being without him all together. I don't think I will ever be able to move on from Luke. He said I was it for him, well he is it for me. 

I shouldn't have broken up with him. Luke may be leaving soon, but that should be all the more reason to spend time together now, shouldn't it?

How in the world could I have told Luke to leave before my graduation? What the hell is wrong with me?

I shoot up out of bed and grab my bag. I run to my front door and slip on my black vans.

"Wait, May where are you going?" Michael asks.

Michael had called Luke after our whole fight, and Luke explained everything. Michael had sent Calum and Cora home because he said he just wanted to be alone. I was losing my boyfriend, but Michael was also losing his best friend. His brother.

"I need to go see Luke." I tell him quickly before I rush out the door.

I run all the way to Luke's house, and before I know it, i'm standing at his front door. But I can't bring myself to knock. What if he tells me we shouldn't be together? Because that is the smart thing to do. But I don't care about the smart thing to do. All I know is I want Luke. And if I can't be with him forever, I want to at least be with him for as long as I possibly can.

I finally bring myself to knock on the door. Minutes later, Luke opens the door. His eyes are bloodshot and puffy and his hair has fallen onto his forehead. He looks like he's been crying. My heart sinks at the thought of Luke crying all alone in his room.

"What are you doing here?" He asks lowly.

Instead of responding, I smash my lips onto his, bring my hands to the back of his neck. He immediately kisses back. I was scared for a second that he wouldn't. Our lips move in perfect sync. It is the most tender kiss Luke and I have ever shared. I can taste his fallen tears on my lips, and i'm sure he can taste mine as well. I don't know when we started crying, but I also don't know how long we've been kissing. Luke and I always get lost in each other from the moment we touch.

I pull away lightly and rest my forehead onto his. 

"I was wrong." I say as I wipe the tears from his cheeks. I can't stand seeing Luke cry, it tears me apart.

"Come inside." Luke says as he interlocks our hands and brings me inside, shutting the door behind us.

We walk in silence to his room, our hands still intertwined. Once we get to his room I awkwardly sit at his desk chair as he shuts the door. I don't want to just sit on his bed, because I don't know how this whole thing is going to play out. I don't know if I will walk out of here being with Luke or not. He walks over and sits on his bed. He pats the spot beside him, and I slowly get up and sit beside him. 

"Wrong about what?" He asks, referring to the statement I made just moments ago. 

I sigh. "I didn't want to break up. I was stupid to say we should. I won't ever accept that you're moving, and I won't ever understand why. But, i'm going to need to learn to deal with it. And I don't want to just break up and that's it. I want to spend as much time as possible with you before you go. I want you to see me graduate. I love you, Luke. You were right, we can't end this even if we wanted to." I tell him.