"I wanted you with me always. I want you like this, every day, while the smell of coffee fills everything. And to find me in your smile because nothing can be better than that, and for you to see mine born happy knowing we tried."
🔥 Monster 🔥
Maybe some time ago Will didn't know what he was accepting. Perhaps in the day-to-day living, unconsciously, he had chosen to ignore it.
Along the way, amber eyes that always watched him. They sought his company and even more: they longed for it. If Will had accepted his nature, he would have realised that Hannibal's hands embraced his being when he only felt rejection and fear. That they told him they were there, with him, and that in the difference of being who they were he would never be alone again.
- Will?
In the consulting room the amber has turned black. Hands, face and body of the same colour, the suit keeps its impeccable white. Can there be purity in the sway of such emotions?
- Do you pass? - Hannibal insists.
He knows what will happen if he does and is excited to finally be conscious in the choice. He closes the door behind him, closing with it what he was saying goodbye to.
- What's the matter? - asks that voice he knows so well. You seem different today.
Will doesn't look at him, not yet. He wanders around the room where he has been him for so many hours and stops in front of the small sculpture of the black deer. He smiles as he strokes it with his fingertips.
- Who are you thinking of?
Perhaps Will had not known long ago what he was accepting, but now his body reacted to the sound of that voice enveloping him completely. I want you, get away, please let me stay with you.
- On us - he replies concentrating on the deer.
- Tell me more - Hannibal's hand on his shoulder takes him back to those dreams where he could be free.
I could tell you so many things, he thinks. How many times you've kissed me and I've held you close to me because we've been apart long enough. How much of you is mine and how much of that part is in me holding me when I'm lost.
- Sometimes I see us together. Together of...
- Sex?
- Yes. No. Together. For everything. Against everything.
The hand on his shoulder drops to his waist. A light squeeze makes Will turn around, meeting what he'd wanted to shy away from.
- You speak of assumptions, Will, of maybe. Tell me, you know who I am, can you handle it?
Will nods, though he doesn't know how far he can go. Trying will always be better than the restlessness he lives in now.
- I don't want to ignore this any longer, Hannibal. What was before you I barely remember, and what little I do remember I want to forget. Does that make me a monster?
Hannibal falls silent, his hand clinging to Will's waist. He kisses him, light as the brush of the profiler's fingers on the deer, and feels Will pull him close to him, touching.
- You've never been a monster to me. Nor will you be by giving up and accepting another life. I couldn't see a monster in you when I don't see one in myself, and, truth be told, I've done everything I could to get where we are now," Hannibal kisses him again. It's partly my fault.
Will's hands on Hannibal's body are the signature of an unspoken promise. His tongue running as far as he's capable of daring, the direct entrance to the hell he's never believed in.
Perhaps Will did not know at first what he was agreeing to. Now, in the clash of flesh and Hannibal inside him, he embraced it. And he couldn't have felt fuller.
