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𝐈'𝐌 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊, sick of being so emotional and weak hearted. I'm better than this. Why am I crying over Keres? Why am I shedding tears for that traitor? It's been over two months and I'm just tired of myself smiling, acting like I moved on even though I haven't.
The motto of my life since the beginning has always been: 'Lights, Camera, Bitch, Smile'. It's tiring, it's frustrating, I want someone to slap, punch, abuse and let out all my anger. The only one who really understands me right now is my dad.
My dad's been pretty upset about the break up and all the crazy rumours going on. He wrote a letter to the author of the article but it was simply ignored. My dad approached aunt Luna to publish the truth in the Quibbler but the article didn't gain any publicity or popularity.
He's been checking up on me a lot and saying a few words to make me feel better but you know how hard it is to see that you're giving your hardworking dad such a hard time dealing with your shit. I mean I can handle mine. Every time I get pitied I just feel like a complete loser who can't deal with herself.
Yesterday I wept through the night thinking of my fate, closing my eyes hoping I would never open them but eventually, daylight hit my eyes. My overwhelming thoughts, my cruel existence and being such a burden to everyone around me.
Every time I look at that knife in the kitchen I wonder how it will feel to end it all. I find myself standing on the edge of the window wondering how it would feel to take my last breath of fresh air. Sometimes I look at those lush green trees at the park and wonder if I would be a pretty Christmas globe for the tree.
Tears flowed down my eyes, I felt lonely, I felt stranded, I had nothing to look forward to. What is the purpose of all this? Nothing, everything fades to nothing.
I wiped my tears and put on my normal sleepy face and walked out of my room in my faint dusty pink pyjamas with bunnies and my pink fluffy slippers.
"Good morning" my dad said as his green eyes welcomed me with a smile. I walked over to the dining table hoping I would just vanish from the crust of the earth. "Taste this for me would ya?" He said giving me a spoon of his tomato soup. "Needs a bit more salt" I commented. "Hmm" he said and walked back into the kitchen.
I zoned out, staring at a black spot on the wall when James swaggered in after gym, with energy and grins. He was here to hang out for a fortnight along with Teddy, who had been crashing at our place for the past three days
