14
I was already waiting when Kim got to the park. I was leaning against a tree like I was trying to blend in with it. My arms were crossed and sunglasses hid my eyes. My medium sized back pack purse was slung over one shoulder. I didn't smile. Didn't frown. Just waited.
Kim walked up slow, heart hammering. "Hey."
"Hey." I said, voice kinda quiet. Not the usual snark. Not today. There was a long pause before either of us spoke again. Birds chirped. Somewhere in the distance, someone jogged by without a clue that two people who used to punch each other through buildings were standing in the middle of a romantic apocalypse. "Did you talk to Ron?" I finally asked.
Kim nodded. "Yeah. A little bit this morning."
I studied Kim for a long minute before removing my glasses slowly. "How'd he take it?"
She hesitated. "Better than I deserved. Worse than I hoped."
I made a small sound, almost a laugh, but there was no joy in it. "Sounds about right."
"I told him the truth." Kim said. "That I love him and that I also have feelings for you. And I didn't plan for this, but I can't ignore it either."
I looked away. "You should hate me for messing with your perfect life. And Drakken because he stole my diary and gave it to you."
"Right, Drakken did play a part in this. But you didn't mess anything up." She said. "You didn't ask for this either." Kim said.
I let out a breath. "No, I didn't." Then I spoke, softer this time. "But maybe the reason this hurts so much is because it's real."
Kim's eyes flicked to mine. "You think this is real?"
"I do." I stepped closer. "But you're with Ron. You love him. And now you're standing here with me. What happens next?"
"I don't know what happens next." Kim admitted. "But I know I can't lie to myself anymore. And I can't lie to you."
15
My jaw clenched. "So what do you want me to do? Wait around while you figure it out? Sit on a shelf until you pick?"
"No." Kim said, stepping closer. "I don't want you to wait. I want you to live your life. But I also want you to know the truth."
She looked at me hard, like she was trying to find a crack in my face. Some proof that I didn't mean what I was saying. But there wasn't one.
"Last night," Kim said, "when I read what you wrote for the second time I cried."
My green eyes widened. Yes it made me feel exposed even more.
"Because I realized I wasn't alone in this. Because I saw the version of you no one else gets to see. And because some part of me wanted to go back in time and see if this—us—could've happened sooner."
I looked away, swallowing hard. "I can't be your second choice, Kimmie."
"You're not." She said. "You're the choice I didn't know I had the right to make. I thought little miss perfect had to be straight. Sure I had thoughts and strange feelings. Wondering so many things at night."
Damn, honestly I didn't know what else to say other than, "So what now?"
Kim took my hand and held it between us. Not romantic. Not possessive. Just real. "I don't know." She said. "But I want to find out. With you. If you'll let me."
I didn't say yes and I didn't let go. And maybe, for today, that was enough.
16
The next day Ron decided to confront Drakken. He banged on the door and yelled at the security camera before he was let inside. He stalked in, fists clenched at his sides. The place smelled like burnt hot chocolate and pickles.
