Sanity | Ghorror [C]

Chapter 11 | Next Contestant

There was this place my mind retreated to when it was confused. It was a dark, secluded spot that I was almost comatose in. See, I don't do well when I'm not in control or understand something. A lack of knowledge is a high vulnerability in my line of work. I couldn't manage to wrap my mind around these unfamiliar emotions. Part of me did know what they were but I couldn't be sure. What I did know is I wanted to take my anger out on someone else.

This is why Chris told Ricky to not make a sound. I so badly want to choke someone or pierce their jugular and watch the blood drip down their neck. It was the only form of relief I wanted. If I even sensed someone near me right now, I wouldn't think who it was. I really don't want to hurt Ricky, but I can't control myself like this. If he were to get too close I could easily hurt him.

At the moment I sat on my top bunk bed and closed my eyes tightly. I swayed back and forth in the pure darkness, trying to understand what exactly was going on with me. How could this plan go so wrong? Ricky was just going to be a hole to fuck, my pet to keep me company. Now I find myself craving a committed future with him. This is not who I am. I know hatred is powerful but I've never known love's abilities. Could it seriously be this potent that it would transform the heart of a murder?

I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I've never been this way before. It was like I was cursed, or poisoned! Oddly, I liked the pain of it, though I didn't understand it. I didn't know what was going on with me, why I hated it and enjoyed it, if this was pain or if I was just taking it that way, why I could possibly be enjoying someone that I think is bad. So many twisting questions and not one answer.

It was after dinner, but before lights out. A nurse and a guard were doing nightly round of meds for the inmates that needed them. Free roaming inmates go to her to get their medications, but we're too high risk to be trusted to roam. Their talking in the hallway was bothering me. I have enough voices in my head, I don't need more around me! Why won't they shut the fuck up and let me think?!

I knew the nurse well. Nurse Jackie. The guard I didn't recognize the voice of. He sounded young, probably new. Idiot won't just stop talking to her! He was too worried about trying to get with her to give a shit about quiet hours. Fucking asshole.

I backed up against the wall and rested my head on my knees, hoping it would all go the fuck away. Putting my hands over my ears, I closed my eyes tighter and tried not to loose it. It'll all be over soon. She's almost done with her rounds and they'll be gone. That fucking chart of hers had to squeak so damn loud! And that douchebag couldn't take a hint that she wasn't interested. He kept talking on and on.

Ricky and I's cell door hauled open amongst their voices growing closer. Nurse Jackie said hello to Ricky, who didn't give her much more than a really quiet "thank you" for delivering his nightly medications. Please, just leave. I'm sick of hearing about this asshole guard bragging to try to impress her.

"We're almost done, Devin is the last one in this wing that needs meds." Jackie told him. She seemed relieved that she was close to done with working with this guard.

I wasn't all too happy to be told I needed to take my medication. Right now, I've got enough to deal with. The last thing I want is drugs in my system, doing fuck knows to me. There was some whispering, nothing I cared much to listen to.

"Devin?" The nurse called for me. I didn't move from my reclusive position. She sighed, "He normally isn't like this."

The guard snit. "Come on, man. Let the pretty lady do her job."

I peaked up from my lap, just barely looking at them. He was a small shit to think he could be an efficient guard. Probably only 5'9", I could kill him in one breath. Nurse Jackie was a beautiful woman, and he thought he could land her? What a dick. I hope he gets the hint, I'm not taking my meds tonight. He took a step closer to the beds and motioned for me to come down.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Ricky quietly said as the guard got closer to me.

"Let me do my job, kid." He scoffed.

Kid? Ricky's probably older than him! No one speaks to him that way either. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Arrogance is disgusting. He reached up towards me and attempted to pull my arm. I jerked back and snarled at him, but he dared to do it again. That's it, I've had fucking enough. The second time he tried to grab me, I yanked my arm back and leapt at him.

Nurse Jackie screamed as I flattened the guard against the ground. I grabbed one of the larger needles off her medical tray and jammed it into his jugular, twisting the needle around just to hear him scream. I felt my blood run hot to see another body in pain for the first time in forever. Though he was probably already dead from a pierced jugular, I latched my hand inside his mouth and snapped his jaw out of place. It made me so much happier to finally feel bones break under my hand.

A genuine smile had come to my lips. I didn't give a shit about anything else, especially my attempts to be on good behavior. I just wanted to kill. I lived to see others die. Of course the nurse had to run out and get other guards. Two lifted me off of the dead one. I fought against them, kicking and screaming. One of my arms got free and I used it to deck the one who still had a hold on me.

I took him by the back of the neck and forced his head into the brick wall. He screamed in pain. Music to my ears. The blood rushed down his head but he was still alive. I repeatedly smashed the fucker's skull into the wall until his face was unrecognizable. The other guard tried to grab me again. Brave move after watching me murder two of his buddies. He reached for his taser so I quickly snapped his neck. Not the most fun kill, but it was better than getting electrocuted.

More guards came rushing down the the hall but before they got there, nurse Jackie surprised me by making a move. She plunged a needle into my neck and injected whatever was in it, into my bloodstream. I only made a sharp gasp for air when the sharp feeling hit me. The bitch gave me a fucking sedative! Instantly it overtook me and I felt lightheaded.

I fell to my hands and knees, fighting to keep awake. In a moment, I glanced over at Ricky sitting on his bed. The look on his face wasn't one of fear; it was one of shock. He seemed impressed, not scared. Why isn't he terrified right now? My mind didn't have much time to wonder on the matter. The drugs kicked in all the way and I passed out against the stone floor.