Sanity | Ghorror [C]

Chapter 54 | Burns

"I know even with all his federal training, you could kick his ass." Ryan spoke while threading stitches into my cheek, "Why didn't you fight back?"

"I tried too." I muttered, feeling emotions pulling down my eyes. They welled further, "I just couldn't. I shut down."

He tied off the end of the thread. Ryan set the needle down, the collided his hand with my face. I uttered a girly yelp and looked back at him like an abused puppy.

"Snap out of it. Stop acting like such a little bitch. You and I both know this isn't who you are. You're a fuckin' stone cold killer that's numb to emotion. Not a damn wimpy abused housewife." He told me.

"Ryan, has anyone ever told you sympathy isn't your strong suit?" Ashley asked from where she sat on the window. Actually, she was sitting on the air conditioning unit under the window, but the dead city fell behind her either way.

I sighed, "He's right. I've let myself get soft. Love is destructive to who we are. I let it take away the vicious monster inside of me. Without that monster, I'm no one."

"It's been awhile since you tortured someone. Maybe we can find you a survivor in the next town, and hopefully that will help you get back to being yourself." Ryan said.

Ashley stood up and made steps towards the door, "We should all get some sleep."

I nodded, "Goodnight, Ash."

"Night." She waved behind herself.

The next morning, I found myself in the passenger seat of Mike's beloved Camaro. I'm surprised he hasn't named her yet. The window was open, my arm resting on the edge of it as I enjoyed the wind running along my skin. Today I wasn't in the mood for bugs in my mouth, so I let Rayne take my Harley while I took her seat in shotgun.

"You remind me of that girl the Heart Shaped Glasses music video with those glasses and the red lipstick." Mike commented, referring to my sun glasses in the shape of love. Ironic since I'm kind of boycotting love right now, huh?

I dryly snickered, "That makes you Manson then."

"I'm fine with that. I wouldn't mind getting to be thee Antichrist Superstar, getting to bang Twiggy every night on tour." He said.

I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, "Huh?"

"Oh, c'mon, a blind man can see those two are so fuckin'." Mike laughed, "Kind of the way we were back in Graham."

"Yeah, that feels like a lifetime ago. You got a smoke?" I asked.

"Glove box." He responded, "So what are you going to do when we get out of this?"

As I stuck the smoke between my lips to light, I said, "Don't you mean if? We don't know if fuckboy will keep his end of the deal up."

Mike glanced at me for a moment. The only noise in the car was the radio and the navigation telling him to make a turn. Angelo and Chris were sitting in the back, but I didn't care what they heard of our conversation. It was obvious by their intense silence that they were waiting on the next word. I looked away from Mike as not to show the guilt in my eyes.

"You don't think he's going to see it through, do you?" He gently asked.

I blew a puff of smoke out the window. Then I decided that wasn't enough of a hit for me to be able to say a damn thing. As I took in a second inhalation, Mike delicately ran his hand against my jawline to get me to look at him. I looked down, as not to release my smoke in his face. I just kept my head down in my response.

"When was the last time you knew a cop to keep their word?"

He set his hand on my leg. It wasn't high enough to be very provocative, just enough to comfort me. "Even if he makes us go back to ADX, it was nice to get out for awhile. If it weren't for you pushing for us to be here too, we would be sitting in that cold prison cell."

"Yeah, and I don't want to think about what would've happened to you if it had just been you and Ricky on this mission." Angelo spoke as he leaned forward a bit.

I looked back at him and forced a smile. Then I let myself fall to gravity and my head rested against Mike's shoulder. There was nothing blossoming between us. He was with Rayne and I was not up for a relationship. We were just good friends that can be there for each other.

"Maybe killing shit will cheer you up." Mike stated.

"Ryan said that last night too. He also slapped me and told me to stop being a pussy but that's beside the point." I muttered. Chris laughed and I glared back at him, "It's not funny. That fucker as the hand of pimp."

"Maybe before med school he was one. We don't know. He never opens up about his past." Chris said.

"He went straight from high school into college." I replied, "I don't think he was pimping on the nights."

"Hey, you still found time to be a murderer while you were a prostitute." He pointed out.

Mike smirked, "Oh, yeah. I forget that you used to be a professional slut. No wonder you're so good in bed." His hand slightly moved up and squeezed my leg, "If only I was single."

"Don't be an unfaithful fuck, Mike." I mumbled.

"I won't. I love Rayne. I just want you to know though, I love you too. Not in the same way, but you are important to me. That's why I did what I did. He deserved to feel regret burn as deep as I could fucking make it. He still hasn't paid enough." He growled.

I glanced up to him, pulling my sunglasses up for eye contact, "Thank you, Mike. You've done more than you know."

"We still have about an hour and a half drive. You should sleep. I can tell you didn't sleep well last night." He told me. I was prepared to protest, when a yawn escaped my mouth. Mike gave me a motherly glare, "Sleep."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going." I sassed him, then flashed a smile to let him know I was kidding.

I moved over to the window, which was now rolled up. Resting my head on the window, I looked out at the endless dessert. There wasn't a soul. All that was around us were the bikes trailing behind us. It was no one, for miles. Just us, and my broken heart. There was no music on the radio because the towers had no one to operate them. Luckily we did recover some CDs from the hotel. I was stuck listening to the music that reminded me of Ricky though; Old Misfits songs.

My heart misses the days it synced to his. I want him back, but he betrayed me and beat me. If we get back together, I'll become the victim. Thinking about it once again brought tears to my eyes. I tried to discretely wipe them away. It didn't help that the album had come to Saturday night. Angelo was falling asleep to Chris. He ran his hand through Ange's hair as he sung along to the track.