Sanity | Ghorror [C]

Chapter 28 | The Past

When I had fallen asleep, I was resting on the window. However, when I woke up, I managed to be in someone's lap. I groggily looked up and blinked from how bright the sunshine was.

"Morning, Sunshine." I heard Ricky's soft voice above me.

He was now driving. Him and Chris must've switched off while I was asleep. I struggled to sit up. Ricky turned to me for a moment and smiled. He reached over, stealing a kiss from me. Then he focused back on the road before he drove us off the road. I glanced into the backseat to see Chris had fallen asleep against the window. He had turned himself away from Julia, probably to try to forget she was there.

"Mhf," I groaned, still tired as fuck. "Morning."

"We're about to come up on an old farm town. We'll stop and get some food there." He said.

I ran a hand through my hair, "What state are we in?"

"Missouri. This town is right on the border. Once we're done there, we'll cross over into Nebraska. After that, we have about twenty-six more hours to drive." He replied.

I grunted and fell back into his lap. This time, I rested on my back and stared up at the ceiling of the truck. "How long do you want to keep the girl?" I mumbled.

"Let's run an experiment. I want to see how long Chris can go without killing her." He whispered.

I rolled my eyes, "Good luck with that one."

Ricky smirked and looked down at me, "Don't get sassy with me."

"I'll get as sassy as I want with you." I teased him. "You're mine after all."

He laughed so beautifully, "I love when you say that."

"Say what?"

"That I'm yours. It's nice to feel wanted. You know you're mine too, and I'm not letting you go."

"Good," I grinned. "You better not. I take it your ex husband wasn't the best at expressing emotion then?"

"He... He would say the right words but they always felt so empty. He was a very good, loving man, but I just didn't love him. I don't know why. I not only didn't love him but I hated him, for no reason really. I guess I felt like he stole away my chance at love." Ricky explained.

"Will you tell me the whole story?" I asked. "I would understand if you don't want to talk about it."

"I'll talk, as long as you promise me when I'm done, you'll tell me your story."

I sighed, "Fine. There's not much to tell but sure."

Ricky chuckled, "I think there's more to you than you give yourself credit for. You've heard my life story, about the trailer park, my sex tapes, my scholarship. All that shit. When I met Garth, I was just focused on my schooling. He was too because we were in training together, but he constantly would ask me out. At least three times a week. It was like the cowboy version of Steve Urkel. The difference is when I gave in, I regretted it. I saw this... amazing, handsome, sweet man and wondered what could ever be wrong with him that he wanted me. There was nothing wrong with him and I knew I would never get that lucky twice.

I was numb from all that happened to me in high school. So, I just went with it. When he'd hold me, kiss me, when we'd have sex, I felt nothing. I guess he felt something though because he loved me more than anything in the world. He asked me to marry him right after he graduated. I was continuing my training to become a fed and he was already working as a patrolman. He came from a rich family that was willing to pay for the whole wedding. So I said yes, because I couldn't find a real reason to say no.

We had been married for about three months. Then, he came home late one night and I asked him where he was. He had been out with some coworkers at dinner, but at the time I didn't believe him and we got into a fight. I didn't know what came over me... I hit him. Hard, I made him bleed. It felt so fucking good. I actually had a lively feeling in myself for the first time in forever. From there, I got addicted to it. Hurting people became like a drug to me. I liked it best when I was hurting him though. The night that I killed him, I finally felt free. There was this huge weight lifted from my shoulders."

"Wow." I commented.

I understood him a little more, I guess. I just worry that one day he'll decide that what we have isn't enough. Obviously I won't stand for being abused, but I don't want to lose him. He's really the only good thing I have in my life, or have ever had. We relate on a level that very very few ever could. I understand the relief he speaks of when referring to killing.

"Your turn." He reminded me.

Internally, I kicked myself for promising him I'd tell him. I wanted to know so much about him that I didn't care at first. Now I'm having some second thoughts. I was pretty fucked up. So was he... To Hell with it. I sat up a little more and looked out on the road. Trees were here and there, but for the most part it was desolate.

I sighed, "I was born in the slums in California, or Kill-ifornia as I like to call it. My dad was an enforcer for the mob and my mom was a crack whore. When I was five, she shot herself in front of me. I remember my dad yelling at me to stop being a big baby about it because I was crying. He hit me once or twice to keep me in line but he didn't abuse me. Without my mom, he was the only one that could take care of me. He would leave me in the car while he went into a building to take out hits on people. I got kidnapped once by one of their enemies. My dad got me back, and after that he started teaching me how to fight and kill. I was thirteen when I killed a man for the first time. It wasn't even self defense or anything. I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. My dad was killed when I was fifteen, and I had been on my own since then."

"How'd you get caught?" He asked.

"I found a girl that I thought was going to be the Bonnie to my Clyde but... She couldn't hack it and turned me in." I responded.

"You left out the part about when you were a hooker." Chris muttered from the backseat.

I turned around, seeing him half awake, and gave him a dirty look. He had to go there, didn't he? Of course Ricky wasn't going to let it slide either.

He put his hand down on my knee, "Explain."

"I had to figured out some way to get money after my dad died. He had money stashed away that lasted until I was eighteen, but after that, I needed some kind of income. I had a nice body when I was younger."

"You still do." Ricky smiled. He grabbed my face and pulled me to his lips. "We're about five minutes from the next town."

I glanced back at Chris and smiled. I'm sure he can't wait to talk to Angelo. Honestly, I miss Ange just as much. At least I have Ricky, whereas Chris doesn't get his love right now.

--

Remember that new story I was talking about? It's up! I decided to publish it early b/c I hit 500 followers recently ❤️ it's Ghorror/Angeless, called "The Last Snow" I think you guys will really like this one. Please go read & leave lovely comments ^_^