Sanity | Ghorror [C]

Chapter 26 | We Made You

I've lead a destructive and guilty life; There's no arguing that. Underneath my many layers, behind my walls, there is regret. There are thoughts I'd like to forget. I'll admit I think about what my life could have been, if I never took a life. If I was raised in a normal home, by loving parents, in a safe neighborhood, would I have ended up different? Would I be able to have happy life like that of those I take? Would I actually enjoy it? I suppose if I was programmed to think it was right, I would.

The doctors, nurses, lawyers, cops, and the whole bunch all used to spit slurs along with my name. They say I'm sick, that there's something wrong with me. They'll talk with their friends about me like I'm some animal. I am. I know I'm not human. Any normal human doesn't survive what I have, but why does a lack of blood thirst define someone as sane? I shoot for thrills, true, but I always make sure the bullet goes through someone who deserves it. There can't be that much wrong with killing the scum of the earth. Their kind is what's killing humanity.

There is something different about me. I wouldn't say wrong though. Most people are born into a world of lies. They're taught lies, taught to believe them. As they get older, they either are too ignorant to see those lies, or they ignore the fact they were fed blasphemy. Then there's the few who not only see the truth, but they get pissed they were ever lied to. They see the viruses taking hold of our world and they set themselves on a track to be the vaccine. I'd like to hope I'm one of those people.

Life is a precious gift. I bet you'd never think I'd say that? Well, it is. Pure life. Good lives. They're valuable. I can't control who decides to take their gift for granted. However, I sure as Hell can eradicate those who threaten good people. Even if those good people think I'm a monster.

I sit here, surrounded by dirt and grime. A small TV with a fuzzy signal is my only light. My mugshot from a few years ago was repetitively shown every commercial break in between re-runs of Full House. We only had about seven channels in this dump. It was all I could find but it worked for now. I sat here, watching how simple times used to be. What happened in the last thirty years that everything got so fucked up?

Maybe I could have the life of a 80s sitcom family, if things were still the way they were in the 80s. People have become so selfish and lost all their values. True American love is like a green coke bottle; they stopped making it. I can't say I'm a rarity. I may have found love, but look at how I did! We met if fucking prison because we're both crazed murders! Yet, we have a stronger love than most people today.

I glanced back at Ricky from where I sat at the edge of the bed. He had fallen asleep and I just let him. He deserved to sleep on an actual bed. That is, if you could consider this dirty mattress a bed. It's better than nothing. While he slept, I sat thinking my life over and absentmindedly watching the TV quietly. I had on a loose Misfits shirt that at some point fit. I've lost a lot of weight in the past few years. My shirt was falling off my shoulder, I didn't have any pants on, and my hair was messy from having sex. I honestly couldn't care less.

The door very slowly opened. Chris walked in quietly and surveyed the situation. He got the smallest soft smile. I raised my finger to my lips to signal to him to be quiet. He looked back at Ricky sleeping and nodded. There was a second mattress that had been thrown on the floor. Chris slumped down to it and began to watch the fuzzy TV with me.

A half an hour later, my angel began to wake up. He stirred a bit and groaned. I glanced back at him and felt an indescribable amount of joy, just seeing his face. I really meant it earlier when I said I love him. I really think I do. What we have, is so different than anything I've ever felt with anyone else. His hair was just as mess as mine from when we were naughty earlier. Ricky sat himself up. I crawled back on the bed and cuddled up next to him. With a sleepy grin, he put his arm over my shoulder.