I need you here with me // Carl Grimes [EDITING]

Fifty Nine - The Fall Aways.

It had only been four days. Four days since everything had fell apart, we'd lost Reg and Pete, not to mention Noah only a matter of days before.

Alexandria was at its worst and to be truthful... so was I.

I'd lost Carl, for good. He may have saved me the night everything turned to shit but we hadn't spoken since. The only friends I had now were Michael, Sophie, Connor, Mikey, Ron, Rachel and Blake. It may have seemed like a lot and I should've been grateful but truthfully I wasn't, without him my entire world was nothing but a sky full of clouds, his eyes being the blue in sky.

I miss you Carl

I wrote.

Nothing's the same without you. I can't sleep without you by my side, I don't see things the same way, I don't laugh anymore, I barely smile.. because truthfully the only smile I ever needed was yours.

But now you have her.

And she doesn't want you, she has him.

And now we're both alone again and it's all your fault.

But even though you caused me all this pain and misery, I still miss you.

"And now you tear it up and then... we burn it."

"But what if I don't want to? What if i-m not ready to let go yet?" My eyes flickered to meet his.

"It's not that you want to, it's that you need to. You need to let go... to survive."

"You're right."

Blake smiled at this and I smiled back, for the first time in a long time...

I took a deep breath and tore the first corner from the paper and then I tore away another piece, this one much larger than the last. Another piece was torn away and it became a vicious cycle, eventually every fragment of the paper had been angrily torn from the rest, piece by piece and was now balled up in my hand.

Blake released a chuckle before pulling a lighter from his pocket, I held up the ball of shredded material and he set it alight. I threw it into the pond beneath our feet and we watched the paper burn out as it hit the waters surface...

"He can't hurt you anymore." He breathed, "But that's only if you don't let him."

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"What were you talking to Blake about?"

"None of your business."

"I just want to help you, he's a bad influence, he's just going to take advantage of you."

"He has a girlfriend Carl! That's something you wouldn't understand!"

"Don't you think I regret ever hurting you? We had a child together we were married and we're only what? Fifteen? We were moving way too fast! But I don't care because in that life I had you." He yelled, "I had you and I let you go."

"Well that's your own fault because I loved you and you'll never find anyone who loved you more. You fucked up, big time. But I can't wait for you anymore Carl because waiting for you is like waiting for water in a drought. Useless."

And with that I walked away, I walked into the only corner of Alexandria that had any type of vegetation, which was the forest. It was still inside the walls but nobody would find me there. Nobody being Carl.