I need you here with me // Carl Grimes [EDITING]

Seventy Nine- Remembering Myself.

"You can't be serious about this! You can't stay here!"

Carl and I spoke in hushed whispers as we stood inside of my locked bedroom. Negan had left to let us say our "goodbyes" in private. But the truth was I didn't want to say goodbye to Carl, he was the only person I really remembered, I remembered everything about him, but I couldn't remember anything else. Only him.

"I have to stay here there's no other way."

"You can come with me now! We can leave and- we don't even have to go back to Alexandria we can find somewhere safe and hold up there for a while-"

"You know we can't do that..." I spoke softly, "And besides I can't leave Daryl. I'll find a way back to you, okay? I'll find another way."

"Please Lydia, please."

"I can't. You know it's not safe, if I go with you then they'll come after us. They'll bring me back here and they'll hurt you. It's not worth the risk." I sighed, "Right now, you need to get back to Alexandria where it's safe and I need to find some way to get my Dad out of here."

"He's Daryl Dixon! He can take care of himself."

"Yes, but sometimes you need a little help along the way."

"Why can't you not be stubborn for once in your life and let me save you?"

"Because sometimes I need to be my own hero."

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"No! Please!"

I kicked and screamed as one of Negan's men, Danny, held me back. I'd desperately begged Negan to let me ride back to Alexandria with him and Carl, just so I could see what everything was like and then come straight back, and see Carl one final time, but of course Negan didn't want that.

I thrashed against Danny's arms as Negan and Carl watched from the safety of the truck. Quickly, I swung my head back as hard as I could and I hit Danny right in the nose, a sickening crunch filled the air and before I even knew what was going on, he'd hit me in the temple with his rifle.

Everything became a blur and I crashed to the floor, but that was when it all came rushing back, everything I'd forgotten came back in one huge wave and tears began to brim my eyes, tears of happiness.

"You never touch a girl that way! Ever!" Negan yelled as he stepped out of the van, "Especially when they belong to me."

With one swift motion, Negan raised his gun and shot Danny in the head and with his other arm he pulled me to my feet.

"Ah shit, your head's bleeding." He sighed, whilst I could only stare at Danny's lifeless body. "I guess it looks like you will be coming to Alexandria with us, after all we gotta clean up that head of yours and we've already wasted enough time. Get in the van and let's get moving."

"Why are you letting me come with you?"

"Because I've fucked around with Rick's head enough and I'm sure it would be heartbreaking for him to see the girl he treated as one of his own not know who he is."