I need you here with me // Carl Grimes [EDITING]

Fourteen - Moving On.

** I've edited up to here so far so that's why Lydia's suddenly pregnant and the writing is shittier

Together Carl and I sat hand in hand in Oscar's bay window. Our eyes never met and no words were spoken between us, Carl knew the last thing I wanted to do was talk after what had happened to me only hours before.

"Carl?" I said, "I'm so sorry..."

"Why? What did you do?"

"I don't want to do this anymore." His hand instantly tightened around my own

"What do you mean?"

"This, everything, Us. I'm always getting hurt by people and because of that you get hurt too, I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me, I'm right here." He shook his head frantically, "Why are you saying this?"

"Because! You keep risking your life for me and I don't want you getting hurt, I can't be the reason for that."

"Please don't patronize me, not right now." He spoke sternly yet I could still see the glistening tears at the edge of his eyes.

"I wasted 16 years of my life on you, a-and then you do this? I can't be around you anymore... I don't want anything to do with you from now on."

"You can't mean that! You know how much I care about you, you're my best friend Carl, please!"

"If you really cared about me then we wouldn't be having this conversation!" Carl yelled but his voice immediately dropped almost as if he remembered we weren't alone.

"Please." I begged, all the while Carl took his gun from his holster and headed for the door.

"I'm going to find my Dad and the others... Even if I do want to hate you right now, I won't leave you here, I'll come back." He let out a deep breath, "I'll find you."

With that he pulled the apartment door shut and left me stood helplessly alone in the hall within a trauma of my own making. I'd wanted to protect him, but in the process I had only hurt the both of us. I had been so incredibly wrong.

"You always do." I whispered

Carl's POV
Unbeknownst to Lydia I hadn't been the only one to leave the apartment that day. Following closely behind me was a tearful Ashley, she tugged at the sleeve of my shirt and begged me to go back "home" but despite the young girls pleading I still ignored her. We hadn't even left the apartment block and she was already crying.

"Carl?" She pulled at my shirt yet again, "Please go back, I'm scared."

"Then go back Ash."

"No, I don't want you to be alone."

"I won't be. I'm going to find my Dad."

"Don't leave." Her bottom lip quivered

"I haven't got a reason to stay." I crouched down to her height and calmly placed my hands on her shoulders, "Just go back, Okay? Lydia's going to be worried."

"Do you not like her anymore?"

I sighed. "It's more complicated than that Ashley."

"She still likes you, as a boyfriend."

"I'm not her boyfriend Ashes. I never have been."

"But she wants you to be, and you want her to be your girlfriend. So why are you fighting?"

"You won't understand."

"Can I try?"

"She doesn't want to be around me anymore, she thinks that if we're together I'll get hurt."

"Well you could get hurt, and I don't want that to happen." Ash nodded, "But that doesn't mean that you can't still be friends and like each other."

"Wow, you're real smart Ashley."

"I know." The small girl beamed, "Can we go back now? It's scary outside."

I stopped and thought for a moment. I wanted more than anything to go back to Lydia and prove that things could stay the way they were, but at the same time my heart and brain were both stuck in a state of fear. Fear that she wouldn't accept me, fear that I'd just lost my best friend.

"Okay." I let out a breath, "Let's go back upstairs."

The second I found myself stood outside the apartment door, my heart began to beat out of my chest. There was nothing I could do, she didn't want me. She was never my girlfriend nor was I ever her boyfriend, but we were tied to one another in a way I could never explain. We were both young kids, who didn't know what love was, but something in the back of my mind told me I felt it whenever I was with my best friend.

"I don't know if I can do this Ash."

"Yeah you can! All you have to do is believe in yourself Carl."

I nodded, and before I even knew what I was doing I had opened the apartment door and found myself stood over a crying Lydia.

"Carl?" She stared up at me more broken than ever.

"I got you."

Silently, I wrapped my arms around the crying girl in a hug and for a while we held one another in utter silence before I could even bring myself to speak again.

"It doesn't matter if you don't want to be with me, I'm okay with that. I just want you to know you're the only girl I've ever liked, ever, that means something to me. I didn't mean to upset you before... I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be sorry Carl, this is all on me. I j-just don't want you getting hurt protecting me." she said

"That's my decision, not yours."

"I'm so sorry." She pressed herself closer to me, "I'm sorry for being stupid, I'm sorry for almost losing y-"

"That doesn't matter now, Okay?"

Soon enough we fell asleep out in the hallway, encased in each other's grasp as if it were safest place in the world, and it really was.

Because we had no idea what was right around the corner, who had been lurking and watching us, leading every walker for miles right to us, like some sort of twisted dinner bell.

"Fuck!" Oscar yelled as he shook us both awake, tearing us away from not only sleep but from one another. "Walkers, they're all around the building we gotta go!"

"Shit, I thought you said this place was safe?" Lyds asked with fear in her voice

"I thought it would be! There's no way all of those things could've found us we've been quiet as mice."

"The Governor." I climbed to my feet, "I bet he lead them here... We have to go, now."