Doll (MikaYuu)

♦19♦ - Big Step

A couple of long, dragging days had passed since Mika's terrorizing night. Then again, after what he said to me told me that it wasn't the first time he'd been molested. I didn't want to think of it, but it was all that haunted my mind for the days when I couldn't see him.

He had messaged me on my phone not to come back to work for some days, planning to inform me on when it was appropriate to return. I felt horrible. Who was there to comfort him through that? Imagining him suffering alone in his room in that building all alone as the memories of that night haunted him made me sick. That place was all kinds of screwed up.

Just then returned the horrid memory of Mika desperately begging me in tears to work there in an even more intense position. How the hell could I handle that? Would I be molested, too? Was that apart of the deal? I prayed not, but of course I had to take into consideration what I would do if it was. I would be saving Mika from getting raped only to be raped myself. I cared for Mika a lot, but this was a situation that neither of us should've had to suffer through.

My mind was pounding with too many questions, so I just resorted to watching TV in the hotel room as I pigged out on junk food and thought about life.

It was a Tuesday when Mika finally rang my phone. I had just woken up from a nap, groggily answering the irritatingly-buzzing device.

"Hello?" I murmured, my face still suffocated in the pillow.

"Yuki," he softly said, sounding more calmer than usual. Even half asleep, my heart still came alive at the sound of my nickname. "Report to my estate."

"Yes, sir," I said through a grunt, pushing myself off of the bed.

It was just after Mika's lunch when he invited me into his office where we exchanged a slight nod. Oh, fuck that. After the door shut, I pulled him into a longing hug, holding him passionately and letting his familiar sweet scent flood up my nose.

He was taken aback, tremulously hugging me back. "How are you?" I whispered, looking up to him after I slowly pulled away.

He gave me a small smile, but I couldn't tell if it was real or not. "Apprehensive."

Well, there was no debate there.

"What's the schedule?" I asked, slightly holding his hand, but he pulled it away from me. I pouted, following him to his desk.

"My deal..." He began, plopping down on his chair with a heavy sigh. I sat across from him, my heart pounding nervously. "I was not inclined to tell you anything that I told you of that night. It was not my place, and it was not licit..."

"I'm not going to tell anyone," I instantaneously replied, but he held up a finger to silence me, our gazes finally meeting.

"Let me finish. That night, I was weak. I could not help myself and told you things that I should not have. Those are things I should have kept inside of my head and never have spoken to you. They were things I wanted to say, but I was not obliged to, and I am sorry you ever had to see that." He explained, self-hatred screaming everywhere in his words. Why would he apologize for pain that someone else inflicted on him? He was acting like he did it to himself. It made me vexed, but I continued to listen.

"In my own mental yearnings, I do want you to become a Jeunesse model, but it is for my own reason, and that is selfish of me. I do not want to use you to save myself."

I had to interrupt. Sorry, boss.

"To request for help is not selfish. If you want my help, then I'm willing to do anything to help you. I don't want to see you suffer anymore like this, it isn't healthy, Mika--"