Doll (MikaYuu)

♦46♦ - Tired

Day Eight in Paris.

There was a feeling brewing deep inside of me as I watched Mika slowly brush through his hair from my side of the bed. I felt awful. Every time I caught a glance of the bags under his eyes, I just wanted to caress him and tell him to sleep forever. More hair came out than usual, his skilled fingers didn't appear so skilled today, and the blue in his eyes just appeared more dim.

"Your health should come first," I reminded him as I mazed my finger through the designed headboard mindlessly. He didn't even sit the same, his back curved out in the position he always scolded me for. He pulled out the loose strands from his brush.

And he smiled. Weakly, tired - didn't feel like there was anything behind it but something he had to do. God, I loved him, but I was hurting. He was hurting.

"This is work for you, Yuu," he just recited like he were programmed to. I closed my eyes, feeling crushed the more he got ready. He was tired. No, he was more than it. He was exhausted. Maybe even sick, but I didn't want to think it because he wouldn't have let me interfere.

"No, come here," I interjected brazenly before he defended the weights pressed on him. He knew he'd screwed himself over as I'd said it, his eyes closing and lips pressing together in regret. But he came over to me, his barely-dressed, godly structure that I forever endeared, stood between my legs.

I pressed my forehead to his soft tummy, letting my hands translate his body language, up to his back and sides. He ached. He was stressed.

He didn't want to say it - we both knew - but work was killing him. I fucking hated it. He was strained and there was just too many memories and to-do's pounding in his head. He didn't even want to be here anymore, and I could see it within everything he did.

The boy was perfection in a thong, garbed in all of these beautiful materials. But when was the last time he'd worn something loose? Let him lay in sweats for a day? Breathe?

"Mikaela," I whispered, placing a kiss on his smooth navel. I didn't want to let him go. "Stay in today... Don't abuse yourself over a meeting or whatever the hell they want with you... You're tired, and I love you, and I want you to rest."

His warm hands caressed my face and neck like my mother often did. I could tell it was a way of soothing before denial, but I just didn't want to hear it. I just wanted him for once to stick up for himself and agree for a well-deserved day off.

"It is our last day here... This is just one meeting, and then we are back and everything is normal, Yuu. I am okay." He made me look at him, the finger-under-the-chin maneuver that made me melt every time on the first weeks I've known him. When he looked young, reserved, and independent. He was still all of those things. He was my hero and my lover, but he was beat down and it took away his image.

I hated myself for letting it take this long for me to put a foot down before it got this far. No matter how perfect he'd seemed over our time together, his job was like an infection slowly hurting him from the inside out. Only did it take for his usual quick and dignified motives to hurt to complete today for me to notice.

"You're hurting," I declared, because I knew if I would've asked he would've denied it. He was like that, always trying to remain strong with so much pressure choking him down.

"No, I am just... Tired, is all."

I rolled my eyes. "I know you're hurt, but don't bullshit me, at least," I murmured, resting back into his plump frontside. He sighed, running his fingers through my hair before he kissed my forehead.

"I should be back soon... Then we can have a celebratory night, or something of the sort... Maybe drink..."

"Rebellious," I sarcastically whispered, making him snicker. I pulled him next to me on the mattress so I could shift on top of him. He looked up at me with exhaustion plastered on his expression, but I still kissed that tired little face. "I just want to make love to you... Make you forget about anything else for a couple hours. It's been awhile, anyway. I miss how you feel."