Doll (MikaYuu)

Excerpt 1 ♦ Elevator

All day Yuu had amused me. He was my eye-opener for dorky entertainment since I had known him... I was unaware of what I was feeling; it felt foreign coursing through me...

Part of me wanted to deny it. Whatever it was. Like a bacteria cell or something of the sort.

What I wanted to deny, exactly? Affection.

Yuu was excited, in a precious, innocent way... I could not believe he had not been claimed by anyone - how alluring he was and how submissive I could get him... He was all for me.

That felt dirty. Risqué and so ribald as the thought passed through my head.

How could I not? He was not claimed, showed such servility... Especially in the stall...

He was evil. Yuu was so cruel! He made me have such a plethora of affection that I had no idea how to deal with. Now I had to reject this irrelevant idea of wanting to... Do things...

What did I even want to do? Well, I knew, but... Did I? If I wanted to express the affection, I had not another choice but to copulate with him.

That thought drowned me in heaven. I did not want it to! ...Yet it did.

I trained every bone in my body not to react to the itch of wanting to see what happened behind that stall. And he had done it to me... How flattering. In a disturbing way. I was far too habitual with such a reaction from most.

Yuu was different... Instead of having him do it alone, I wished to do it to him.

On the rooftop, riveting at a constellation of stars, I tested my theory. Did I really want to do that to Yuu? Have sex so suddenly? I clearly could not love him. But I could express affection if I wanted...

Soon.

I clasped my hand over his own, the warmth of his skin bleeding into my palm. He turned to face me.

Striking features... Hell, he made it harder than I wanted it to be. What did it take to stop me from pulling him in, kissing his lips, hearing his voice again... That sweet, sweet voice--

Constraints... Constraints...

"I am sure you have done your hours for today. Come on," I told him.

And I was not just trying to be eager. Attempt to "get what I wanted."

I simply wanted to please him.

I could tell he felt some lingers of regret still aligning his mood. How awful must that be? To be caught so vulnerable?

Lucky for him, it was by me. Even luckier - he made me attracted to him... Which I still didn't like! Or at least... I thought I didn't. Hell knew.

He stood in the elevator next to me, awaiting as I dialed our number for our floor.

I cleared my throat. Assembled my plan. "Thank you for that... I never thought to look up at the stars before." It truly was a beautiful time. Unforgettable and serene.

Yet I felt so morose. Almost trapped in a way. That moment seemed to be between me and the universe, not between Yuichiro and I.

He hid his gaze as usual. "You're welcome."

He couldn't see, but I was baffled over him. How could he reel me in so easily?

As if anyone's caught my affection this fast. I still was inspecting the mystery feeling gnawing at my insides.

What do I do with these feelings?!

The elevator doors opened to hell. A raging hell that I never wanted to glance at again in my lifetime. It felt like my end was racing towards me.