Doll (MikaYuu)

♦49♦ - Messages

Leave a voicemail after the tone...

"Mika... I need you. I still believe in you. I know you did the right thing. I know you did. I can't eat or anything... I want to see you but I can't scare you away... Where are you? Did you leave? ...You won, okay? I know it feels like you lost your independence but you never did. I love you with all of my heart, Mika. I do. I come to realize now how much I would be damaged when we were separated... I'm not going to talk about myself, though, because you are all I care about... But, I miss you so much, and I've never wanted to not be alive so much in a moment as of now. When you're not by me, I can't sleep. I can't eat, and I haven't held you in so long I feel like you've left me. You told me time after time you want me forever, and I've said the same to you... Whatever 'go' meant, I never really did. I can't. I'm still with you, and I'm back at my home. I didn't want to disobey you when you told me to go. You needed space and that was all I could sense, not that you ever wanted to leave me. If you did... I'm still believing in you. I love you, Mika. So, fucking much......"

"My mom finally forced food down me... Yeah... My parents split up. Luckily, they didn't hurt each other. But the damage is written within the walls and floors. My mom kept all she could of the family photos... You're still welcome here, Mika. I want to let you decide on your own, as much as I want to come take you and care for you. I don't want to scare you away... I obey you, Mika. Remember? You asked me on my first day if I could obey under command? So if you tell me to come get you... I will come for you. And I won't ever let you go... I love you... So much... Please reply, Mika."

"I had to go to church again with my mother today. I never really understood all of it. I knew its purpose, but never fathomed it. That's when the priest told everyone to get on their knees and pray for someone they loved. Of course, I was quite hesitant. Who would even hear my thoughts? If anyone's come close, it's you, Mika. You know your way around me like the back of your hand. But, all I could think of was you. I thought, 'I'll try it.' My mom was surprised to see me down there with her. I knew she was praying for our family, and you too after I barely just got out what happened between us at dinner one night. I haven't told her I was in love with you, yet. She suspects it, though. Ever since the magazine article with us in the elevator, but not to remind you of that... I told her the truth on everything. She knows you're the good guy. You always were, Mika. You're still human through any mistake. God... I miss you. But I prayed for you, wished you well, still not understanding its purpose, but I did. When I was the only one in tears after the prayer, they all bowed their heads, and prayed for me. And you."

"I find it weird being excited these days. I'm so used to being next to you and you sharing the excitement with me. Basically, my mom dusted off my old console and let me pick up GuitarHero again. God, Mika you would've loved this. Maybe? I don't know. You deserve to live like a normal teenage boy should. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up and pressure or persuade you or anything... Can I admit I hate sleeping alone? So does my mother. I lay by her at night so she can drift off. I don't even bother leaving the room. Before I know it, I fall asleep, too. Once again, I love you... Bye."

"My mom threw up this morning. My parents are really dumb, you know. I don't know about you, but my house might become less lonely. Ugh... I wish you were--... I love you, Mikaela."

"I ate some vegan meals at the minimart. It was disgusting! How do you do it?!"

"I really hope you didn't disable your phone. I sent you some pictures of a kitten my mom picked up recently. She's trying to fill up the empty house, now. I got to name her. Yep, I named her Terminator. She's a little bitch, too, always clawing at my feet. You'd love her, though. She likes to cuddle."

"Wherever you are... I hope you can see the snow, too."

"Alright. I'll stop bombarding you. I will let you live and breathe. Like I said, I'm still here for you. I'm hurting like hell without you, and I don't want to bug you for a message... But please let me know you're alright in any way... I love you too much to know you're suffering... Sorry, I'm trying not to cry or anything... Would you hate me if I came to check on you? Are you still there? Please tell me you left... That you're somewhere safe... I resent you the directions here just in case the others got buried under all of my spam. This should be the last you hear from me... Unless Terminator does something amazing...

I love you, Mikaela... G-... See you later."