♦51♦ - Missed You

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Words weren't with me as I grasped his frail body bled of life. He trembled so horribly, and the clothes were stiff, shred here and there from the merciless blizzard. As horrible as it felt to compare, I felt like I was holding a corpse.

His cold face pressed into my neck, a feeling I'd never forget, frostbitten fingers holding onto my shoulders.

My name dimly got past his bloody lips, but enough to get my full attention through my stun and grim mind. His voice was distorted, sounding strained and raw as if he'd been screaming for hours. "Yuu, It's... Everything is... I..."

I ached to break out of my transfixion, make words - do anything... But I couldn't. I couldn't believe he was here, and alive. Maybe broken, but alive. I never forgot he could've not survived that night.

I held his face in my shaky hands, deciphering the dark bruises and bloody scratches nearly all over his face. Tears could hardly escape him as he was dehydrated, face too cold to let any liquid fall as to freezing.

The horrid gash under his left eye never drifted from my attention, barely healed as the snow kept refreshing the blood. I ran my thumb under it, feeling just the significant sensation as a tear fell down my face. What ever happened to him...

The wind gusted the door shut, waking my urgency. He was in front of me, and was injured. I had to stop wasting time.

But, of course, I was so upset. "What were you thinking? It's like, negative fifteen degrees out there!"

My inner mother instincts burned within me. She stirred in her deep sleep on the couch, probably feeling the vibes just as well.

He still held onto me so tightly, his cries making me defensive in a way. Yet, I wanted to tell him to stop, fearing he'd dehydrate himself. His voice struggled to be heard. "I couldn't stay there... Yuu, I couldn't... I felt... So guilty... I was hurting, and...-"

"Mika... You don't just tread through cities in a raging blizzard to see me; put yourself first for once-"

"Yuu," he whispered, his pale eyes gazing up at me innocently. A sweet way of telling me to be quiet.

I hugged him once more, still ounces of my love pouring out. I held the back of his head and hid my face in his shoulder, trying to silence all of my reactions. I would have to explain far too much to my mother if she woke.

I kissed the top of his head which still held its very sweet scent. "I wanted to die without you," I whispered to him, squeezing him tighter with every shiver... I loved him so goddamn much... He was the most precious thing I'd ever held and hearing him cry and wince out every possible thing tormenting his mind at once made me never want to let him go.

Which was obvious. I was never letting him leave me. I couldn't. I'd grown too protective, and lost too much trust with everyone around him. Even the world itself with him. Out in the blizzard is where it left him.

"Follow me," I said, although I didn't give him much choice as I held his hand and led him to my room.

He was making me feel awful with his rejections to the cleansing materials I used to fix him up. Some things would just take too long to heal, but I tended to what I could. He'd already seemed to be fed up with me when I persisted on bathing him and made him submit to healing him. He held my hand as I cleaned the rest of his cuts, his sore legs pressed into my sides from the edge of the bed. It wasn't the appropriate time to note aloud, but did he look ever so precious in my clothes and perched on my bed.

But the question was lingering in the air. It was a screaming whisper that we tried so hard to ignore.

He watched me tiredly as I cleaned under his eye, the scar just making that godforsaken question scream louder.

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