Chapter Forty-Nine

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(Author's Note: This chapter is in Kylo Ren's point of view.)

I could see the mixture of disgust and awe on Nira's face as I handed her the dead fiend's lightsaber, but I didn't regret gifting it to her. Even though it was an odd present, I feel like it was a sentimental bestowing.

I thought about her the entire lengthy walk down to the conference. I thought about her colorful beauty and courageous personality. I began to think that every single time a thought centered around Nira passed through my mind, my adoration for her greatly increased.

During her stay at The First Order, Nira had learned several things; she had learned how to pull the trigger of a gun; she had learned how to expertly wield a lightsaber; she learned hand-to-hand combat; she learned about her own fatal powers; she learned how to kill.

I, also, had learned a few things as her stay had lengthened. For example, I had learned how to read her mind without her knowing. I had learned to stay hidden among her thoughts. I had learned to conceal my being inside of her head without her having a clue of the mischievous activity.

I had mastered this trick shortly after her arrival. Sometimes, while reading her mind, I merely felt like allowing her to realize that I was in there just to tease her -- I enjoy getting a reaction out of her. Sometimes, however, I thought it would be inopportune to let Nira recognize my presence in her mind, so I would camouflage my being and thoughts among her own.

As we walked to the meeting, I secretly entered her thoughts and carefully sifted through them. I saw that she was constantly contemplating our luscious and loving moments from the night before. I also saw her continuous wonder about my past.

Annoyance and anger prominently rose in me upon my findings of her curiosity about my history. Why did she care that much, or, why did she still care even after I had told her that I don't wish to speak of it?

I am very protective of my history. Anyone and everyone that has ever asked about it gets a negative reply, or no reply at all. No one in The First Order questions my past choices because the last time someone did, everyone had to attend their short funeral after I killed the person.

I am afraid that if I confess my entire past to Nira then she will be repulsed by me and she will loathe me. I felt that if she knew the extent of my crimes she would be just as terrified of me as she had been for the first few weeks of her stay at The First Order.

That couldn't happen. I could not lose her trust or any of her affection. I needed Nira.

We entered the conference room to see that most people had arrived already. The conference was near commencement.

Nira and I were both seated at the long conference table with the other officials, generals, and higher-positioned employees of The First Order surrounding us in other chairs. At one end of the table was the door to the hallway and at the other end was a chair that was raised farther above the rest; in the elevated chair sat the master of the conference. The master of the conference would lead all discussion, had the ability to silence anyone, and counted the final vote.

I glanced at Nira, who was silently seated next to me. Her hands were folded tightly in her lap and she stared down at them. I didn't have to enter her mind to be able to tell that she was scared and full of apprehension.

The master stood up and began to speak once the room fell silent. Everyone looked up at him.

"Order. This meeting will cover the topic of Nira Leven's governmental position in The First Order."

I saw Nira turn her head towards me and I looked at her through my helmet. Her eyes were wide and one eyebrow was raised in confusion. Her gorgeous lips were slightly parted -- just looking at them sent chills rippling down my spine. I ignored her surprised aura and directed my attention to the master.

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