Kidnapped by Kylo Ren (Star Wars)

Chapter Ninety-Eight

(Author's Note: Kylo Ren's point of view. Enjoy!)

I am filled so deeply with guilt. It consumes me. 

I know that as the humble leader of The First Order, the most evil and treacherous organization in existence, I am supposed to be guiltless and merciless. 

But I am not.

I will admit that in most cases I am guiltless and merciless. Usually I can order the slaughter of an entire village without doubting how cruel my actions are; I know my actions are cruel, and I don't care. I do what I think is best for my organization. 

However, Nira Leven is different. Her mere presence on the base has started to make me feel guilty and anxious. 

At the time that I took her from her home planet, I knew it was wrong. I knew that sentencing all of her village except for her to death was vile and wretched. At the time, I didn't care. 

I continued to not care, up until a few weeks ago when I began to think about it. 

Now I completely care about it, but for a reason other than what you probably think. 

Ever since Nira came here, she has been subjected to basically physical and mental torture. She has gone through so much on this base. Her pains and problems that she has experienced on this base are worse than the average being's pains and problems experienced in a lifetime.

When Nira first arrived she was kept alone in a cell for a few weeks to think about her mother that had been slain in front of her. She was then subjected to a very strange scientific method in order to extract some of her electricity from her, and coming from Tunstead, it was probably the first or second piece of technology she'd ever seen -- and it had been used against her in a violent, demeaning manner. 

From there, I had taken her to Beyzuno. On Beyzuno, she had been abducted by a foreign organization (The Resistance) and taken to their base. She then had to battle herself out of The Resistance's base, carrying my unconscious body on her back. Then I had tortured her, which is my biggest regret of my life. I cannot ever take that deed back, and I will always hold an internal fiery self-loathing for it. Scosie then ferociously attacked Nira.

The Knights of Ren then came to The First Order and Nira was suddenly put into a life-or-death position. She was forced to battle all of those powerful warriors for her life, and she had lost a hand in the process. Then a while after that, that horrid Doctor, Doctor Kutraron (and I am 99% sure Senator Shihan had been in on this plan as well) had abducted her and turned her into a gladiator of sorts on his own planet. She had rescued herself (luckily) and returned to us. Her third major of abduction of her life followed closely behind her second, this kidnapping conducted by The Execution and Senator Shihan. Sure, I had gotten her into that abduction -- and myself as well -- but that doesn't excuse it. An abduction is an abduction. 

Shihan had tortured Nira. 

As you can see, Nira Leven has been through a lot of violence, pain, and mental distraught while on her 'vacation' to The First Order. The only person I can blame for this is myself. I made the choice to take her from her people, and I had made the executive decision to bring her here. I chose to have her put into the military ranks. Everything that has and will happen to Nira Leven, the woman I am in love with, is my fault. 

And now The Resistance is coming for her again. They had somehow found out that our power box had been stolen and that we had consequently been left without a force field. Our sources don't know exactly when The Resistance plans on coming to take her, but from my past experience in battling the organization I can estimate that they will take action extremely soon. The Resistance does not usually wait long for what they want.