Underthink

Chapter Nineteen // Stress

- Iris' POV -

I got home from college later that day after Louise made Sophia extremely upset, I felt awful for not being able to help her. Sophia wouldn't tell me what Louise had said or why she was crying so much, she pushed me away and locked herself in the girls bathrooms for a few minutes before composing herself then leaving college. I had to make up a lie to our teacher saying she had threw up and wanted to go home to rest..

I napped when I got home but only for a few minutes.. Then a few minutes turned into two hours and I was rudely awakened by my phone ringing. I grabbed it and answered angrily.

"What's up with you mango?" Justin's beautiful accent came from the phone, I jumped up slightly and was instantly awake.

"I was asleep silly!" I shouted while laughing, I grabbed my blankets and smothered myself in them before closing my eyes. Every time Justin spoke I imagined him laying beside me, it made me smile.

"So, it's your birthday in two weeks.." Justin said in a weird voice, I opened my eyes.

"Yes that is correct"

"I'm sending you a huge gift" He said, I sighed loudly.

"You don't need to do that grape! I don't need presents" I moaned, I feel bad taking things from people even if it is my birthday. Sending a present across the world would be very expensive..

"I don't care I'm doing it anyway, you're going to love it" He said excitedly, I rolled my eyes and stayed quiet.

Sometimes we just sit in complete silence on the phone, it's comforting. It feels like we are with each other in person and that we don't need to be talking every second to connect.

"I love you a lot, you know that right?" Justin said breaking the silence, I smiled widely and nodded before realising he couldn't see me.

"I know, I love you too" I replied while burying my face in my pillow.

"Iris! Your dad is here!" My mum shouted outside my bedroom, I jumped out of bed and began to stress out about what to wear. I was feeling drowsy and I looked a mess.

"I'll be there in a minute!" I shouted while throwing on my jeans and a random shirt, I grabbed my phone and continued to talk to Justin while squeezing my feet into my converse.

"I have to go grape, I completely forgot that I was going to dinner with my dad tonight" I said quickly and out of breath, we said goodbye and I grabbed my bag before rushing down the stairs.

Natalie gave me a look of evil before walking out the front door and making her way to dads car, I sighed loudly and followed her.

"Have a nice night girls" Mum said while waving, I looked back at her and frowned. I will forever wish for the times when we all went out to dinner, when dad lived here and everything was good.

Natalie got the passenger seat of the car (as usual) and I got into the back while still fixing my messy hair.

We were going to some fancy restaurant that one of dads 'business partners' suggested to him, I'm convinced its his new secret lover. Every time he talks about somebody he knows he will never mention their name, maybe he knows how fragile we are about the divorce even though it was a few years ago.

When we arrived at the restaurant dad opened the car door for us both and carried our bags into the building, what a gentleman!

"So Iris, what would you like for your birthday?" Dad asked when we got our table and sat down, Natalie stayed silent and kept her head down at her phone.

"I don't want anything dad, really" I said, I'm really tired of people asking what I want! Every year I say nothing because I really don't want gifts, I hate people making a big fuss out of me.

"Seriously can you stop making people feel bad for you? Of course you want all the presents you can get, just tell him" Natalie snapped at me, I stared at her in shock.

"That's enough girls, why do you always fight?" Dad said with a sigh, I didn't say anything because I know if I carried on the stupid argument the meal would be ruined.

Me and Natalie don't have the best relationship as you can tell, We fight more than other siblings. Most of the time I see her as the spawn of Satan who's only mission in life is to destroy my happiness and make me feel like shit, trust me it's been a reoccurring thought for a while.

We ordered our food and sat in an awkward silence, Natalie continued to mess around on her phone and I stared at the four walls. The fancy restaurant was pretty busy, there were a lot of posh couples sitting together looking like they were having a great time.. Lucky them.

When our food was ready I instantly felt sick, my mind was crowded with unexpected thoughts.

What if the reason mum and dad split was because of me and Natalie always fighting? Maybe dad couldn't cope with it and he had to leave us.

What if they started to have problems because of me and Natalie?

What if its MY fault?

Have I not been doing well in college?

Did I do something wrong?

I burst into tears in the middle of the meal, I couldn't help myself. I grabbed my bag and ran out of the posh restaurant while choking on my own tears, how embarrassing can I get? Natalie and my dad didn't react quick enough because I was already running half way down the street even though I had no idea where I was.

Who should I call? Sophia was already upset and I didn't want to put more on her plate.. I looked up from my phone and noticed the hospital was only a few blocks away..

I think I need a secret mission to unwind and feel better about all this unnecessary stress I'm causing myself, I opened up my messages from Rae and quickly sent her something.

"Fancy a sleepover? Guess who's sneaking into the hospital!!"

I grinned to myself and sprinted down the busy street.