Underthink

Chapter Thirty Six // Violated

- Iris' POV -

Me and Justin dragged his heavy suitcases to the elevator in the hotel and pressed the ground floor button, he took my hand and smiled at me. Justin was going back to New Jersey in a few hours and I decided to take him to the airport to say my goodbyes.

I felt sad but also relieved to see him go home because of how I was feeling last night at my party and at the hotel after. Maybe I just didn't like being around him when he was drunk or else I didn't like being around him at all.

I know that I love Justin but something has changed since I met him, I feel like I don't want to be around him any more.

"Did you have a good birthday then?" He asked me as we left the elevator and waited for the taxi which would take us to the airport. I nodded and smiled at him.

"Of course, seeing you was a huge surprise. Thank you for travelling all this way" I said quietly, Justin gave me a hug. We stood in silence for a moment while still holding hands but I felt like I was elsewhere, Sophia still hadn't shown up.

I called her while hiding in the bathroom and she said she would come back to the hotel straight away.. This was two hours ago.

The taxi finally arrived and we got inside, Justin threw his bags into the boot of the car.

"You have to come to New Jersey next time, yeah?" Justin said while glancing across the car at me, I nodded quickly. Hell-to-the-no.

I felt confused, violated, scared and more sleep deprived than ever.

"Thanks for the help." I sent to Sophia while adding so much sarcasm into the words, I'm really mad at her right now. This is the first time I've asked for help from her and she doesn't help me. She always begs for me to vent to her or go to her at any time when I'm not okay and the day I finally do ask for help she does nothing.

I kept my face to the window of the car and that meant Justin was completely out of my vision which was probably for the best since I felt extremely uncomfortable being in his company. I waited patiently for the airport to appear before receiving a text message.

"Hello darling, how does it feel being an adult? What are you doing today? your sister wants to see you xxxx"

I rolled my eyes at my mums message before there was a tap on my shoulder which almost made me scream. We had arrived at the airport and the driver helped Justin with his luggage, now I instantly felt sad.

This could be the last time I ever see him.

Long distance relationships are scary, not just because you have no idea what they could be doing (like cheating). But also because seeing them for the first time could also be the last, the world is scary and there are so many possibilities to what could happen. Maybe I just over think everything too much.

Justin grabbed my hand and we entered the airport while staying completely silent, I felt like he was nervous to leave me. We stopped walking just before the security where Justin would go to get on his flight, he turned to me and smiled.

"I'm so glad we got to meet Iris" Justin said, I looked up at him and nodded.

"Me too" I mumbled before he gave me one last kiss and a huge hug which lasted a few minutes, I held in my tears as he let go of me.

"I love you mango!" He shouted while walking off and waving, I waved back at him and giggled.

"I love you too grape" I said as he disappeared around the corner, I instantly broke down in tears the second he was gone. But was I crying because he was gone? Or was it because of something completely different?

I grabbed my phone and angrily called Sophia, I was still standing in the same place with tears soaking my face.

"Iris? I'm so fucking sorry, something happened and-"

Sophia stopped talking the moment she heard me crying loudly, I could barely speak.

"What's happened? Where are you?" She asked.

"Does it fucking matter where I am? You asked me this a few hours ago and you never came to get me like you said you would! I made a huge mistake!" I screamed down the phone with everybody in the airport staring at me, Sophia stayed silent and I hung up the phone before storming out of the airport. I had no way of getting home because I spent all my money on drinks last night, I was stranded.

Sophia tried to call me a few times but I ignored every one, then she sent me a text.

"I'm sorry. Please talk to me" She said in the text message.

I began walking back home which would take an hour or so to do but I needed it, I needed the fresh air and to be alone for a while. Everybody who passed me in the street looked slightly concerned at how much I was crying, I avoided them as best as I could.

"Are you okay?" Somebody asked, I lowered my head and continued to walk on.

"I-I'm fine" I stuttered before running away from them.

I felt bad for shouting at Sophia down the phone as something serious could've happened and I told her off for not helping me with a boy problem.. I called her back as I finally made it to the town in which I live in.

"Iris! I'm so glad you called me" She shouted before breathing deeply, I sighed to myself.

"Are you at home? I'm coming to yours" I told her, she told me she had a free house which meant I could get my frustration out without scaring her family.

I entered Sophia's street and approached her house before James sprinted passed me, he looked terrified.

"James?" I said while staring at him weirdly, he looked back at me but kept running.

"Oh, hey Iris!" He shouted before running on. I watched him leave and then knocked Sophia's front door. Sophia opened the door before dragging me into the house quickly and slamming the door.

"Calm down Soph" I said while fixing the creases in my jumper from Sophia gripping onto me, she peaked through the small window on her door.

"James can't see if I'm home or not, that's all" She muttered while continuing to look outside, I rolled my eyes and made my way into her living room.

"Rant to me Iris, what happened?" Sophia asked, she sat down beside me.

"Justin just left, I was at the airport when you called me" I explained, she nodded before giving me a hug.

"You didn't want him to leave? I thought something really bad happened like you were shot" She said while laughing nervously before placing her hand on her chest.

"That's not why I was crying Sophia. I begged for you to come and save me from the hotel room but you didn't come so I..." I stopped myself from talking and looked away from her, she hit me on the arm.

"You did what? Iris tell me!" Sophia shouted, I stared at her and sighed.

"I had sex with Justin okay?! I didn't want to! But if I didn't then he would leave me!" I screamed before moving away from Sophia, she had her hands over her mouth. I thought she would be mad at me but instead she looked horrified, it was almost as if she knew something that I didn't.

"What are you hiding from me Sophia?.." I muttered while staring at her angrily. I know Sophia inside out and there was clearly something she wasn't telling me, she seemed fine before I admitted what I did.

"It was safe sex right?"

"OF COURSE IT WAS, I'M NOT STUPID" I shouted before folding my arms. Sophia flinched slightly at me constantly raising my voice at her but I couldn't help it, I was so mad at myself.

"There's something you need to know.." She whispered, I turned to her and she began to cry.

"Go on.." I said nervously.

"Iris, Justin cheated on you at the party last night"