Underthink

Chapter Sixty // White Flowery Dress

- Elise's POV -

"Breakfast is ready girls!" Mum shouted while Erin's feet stomping down the stairs shook the whole house. It's morning already?

I had been staring at my ceiling in silence for over twelve hours and I hadn't felt a thing, I was numb. I sat up slowly and my head instantly began to spin because it was the first time I had moved in a while, my eyes were heavy and felt like they were going to fall out.

I finally got out of bed and began to put on my school uniform even though I knew I wouldn't be going to school, my door knocked quietly and my mum entered.

"Elise? Are you sure you want to go to school?" She asked in a weird tone, I looked at her and then down at my clothes.

"I'm not going to school today, it's the closest clothes to me" I told her while buttoning up my shirt, she sighed loudly and walked over to my cupboard to lift out clothes that I could put on. She threw them on my bed and then left the room for me to get changed.

After getting properly changed I walked slowly down the stairs in case I fell as my head was still spinning, when I got to the bottom I entered the kitchen and smiled at my family. They were sitting at the table eating their eggs and toast, I grabbed an apple and walked out into the back garden to be alone.

It was sunny again today, it had been raining constantly for weeks until suddenly yesterday everything changed. Is it a sign?

"Elise?" I heard my little sisters voice coming from behind me, I looked back at her and smiled slightly. She came out into the garden and sat down on the step beside me, she was in her school uniform and her hair was neatly plaited.

"I wish I could've met her, she sounded like a nice person" Erin told me while smiling, I stared at her for a second and then nodded.

"Yes, she's everything to me" I told her quietly as I bit my lip, no more tears today. Erin sat in silence as we listened to the birds chirping in the trees at the end of our garden.

"Rae's smile is absolutely beautiful, I'm convinced it's the brightest smile of all. Her laugh is contagious and it could make anybody's day one hundred percent better. She makes me feel good about everything, I just wanted to know her forever... You know?" I explained to my little sister without making eye contact, Erin gave me a hug before mum called her back into the house because it was time to go to school.

"Elise can you come inside and eat your breakfast?" Mum shouted as she helped Erin put her coat on. I stood up and made my way to the back garden gate to escape from my mum. I walked slowly down the street until I had an idea which made me hurry.

I began running quickly passed the school kids and college teens who were ready for their busy day ahead while I was mentally drowning in grief. I ran away from the streets and onto the crowded roads and pathways where everybody was going to work, I was heading to the hospital.

I repeatedly rethought the situation in my head and tried to make it different..

"Nothing happened yesterday, everything is fine"

"She is here and she always will be"

"She needs me right now"

I approached the hospital and entered the doors to see an empty room with only security guards sitting on the seats in the middle of the room. A door opened behind the desk and out came the woman who was taking care of me during my work placement in the hospital, she noticed me and instantly came over to give me a hug.

"I've missed you Elise, why are you here?" She asked quietly, for once she wasn't being demanding and bossy like she used to be.

"I just wanted to walk around the ward" I mumbled, she nodded and walked to the elevator with me. It dinged and we were in the ward that I used to clean up everyday, the ward that I was always so excited to get to because it meant I could see Rae.

My old boss walked off and began talking to some patients, I walked on and stopped at Rae's old room. Somebody else was using it now and it was very messy, they had left their clothes and used chocolate bar rappers all over the floor.

I walked on with my head low and my hands stuffed into the ugly hoodie that my mum picked out for me this morning, I was unsure of where I was going but I continued before looking up and knowing.

I went through the doors at the end of the corridor and came to the window in which Rae used to sit and watch the outside world, I grinned to myself before sitting down on the floor and pressing my hand on the glass of the window. We sat here for a long time and watched the sunrise and sunset, it was like magic.

I looked across to the empty space on the floor and brought my hand to the floor until my old boss walked through the doors and stared down at me in confusion.

"You have to leave now Elise, visiting hours are about to commence" She said with a smile, I nodded and got up from the cold dirty floor. I took the elevator alone and exited the hospital to see that it was even more sunnier than it was an hour ago, why is this happening?!

I put my hood over my head and walked along the street with my eyes staring to the ground, I would have preferred rain on a day like this.

I didn't want to go home at all today because my mum would be following me around the house as if I was a puppy that needed constant attention, I needed to be alone. Being in a busy place isn't necessarily alone but it's away from the people I know, the people I don't want seeing me in this state.

I headed into the town for no reason at all, maybe walking around some shops would bring my mind elsewhere instead of this dark never ending tunnel it was currently stuck in. I was sweating right through the hoodie but I refused to take it off, I did not want the sun to touch my skin because I was angry at the angels for making it a bright day.

I walked into town centre and glanced at the fountain, I stopped walking and frowned to myself. The fountain used to be a happy place for me but now it just brings back awful unwanted memories. I closed my eyes tightly for a moment before opening them once again and realising that the fountain was no longer empty, there was somebody sitting at it.

She had long brown plaited hair, the brightest smile of all, a contagious laugh and a huge white flowery dress on.. Rae.

I stared in disbelief for a moment as people passed me in the street, she wouldn't disappear and she was staring straight at me. I began to walk closer and I removed the hood from my head, she stood up when I got closer.

"Hi Elise" She said with a grin, my stomach was crowded with butterflies.

"How did you get here?" I asked her with a shaky voice, she shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the exact spot where I found out she was gone. I continued to stare at her in confusion.

"Sit down silly!" Rae shouted while laughing, I laughed nervously with her and sat down. She looked around at her surroundings and repeatedly sighed happily but all I did was stare at her.

"A-Are you going to come back?" I stuttered while asking her the scariest question of all, she looked across at me and studied my face for a moment before reaching her hand across and grabbing mine tightly.

"I'm here, I will always be here. You should know that Elise, I have been ever since the day we met" She told me and I believed every word.

"Just remember to read my letter, yeah?" Rae said with a giggle, I nodded quickly as she let go of my hand and started to dig through the pockets on the side of her dress. She lifted out two coins before standing up and facing the water in the fountain, I copied her and she gave me one of the coins.

"Let's make a wish.." Rae whispered to me, I smiled at her and nodded. I watched her as she closed her eyes and dropped the coin into the water.

"Now it's your turn Elise" She told me, I closed my eyes and thought hard about my wish before throwing the coin into the water. I kept my eyes closed for a moment after I had made the wish until I felt the sun on my face, something I didn't want to happen.

I opened my eyes quickly and looked across at Rae who was gone, she had disappeared. I looked through the crowds of people rushing passed me but she was no where to be seen. I put my hood over my head again and continued walking on through the town.