Underthink

Chapter Twenty Nine // Piggybacks

- Rae's POV -

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I opened my eyes and instantly had a smile on my face, the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. My legs were wrapped tightly around Elise's waist as she gave me a piggyback up the huge hill. We were singing loudly while she struggled to carry me, she told me she didn't want me to get tired.

"Let's go over there!" I shouted while pointing to a bench, Elise set me down and I hurried over to a wooden bench at the top of the hill. Elise followed after me and sat down, we stayed silent for a moment as if we were taking everything in. The freedom we had and the peace and quiet that surrounded us.

I moved closer to Elise on the bench and gave her a cuddle, I sighed in content.

"It's really beautiful here" She said quietly, I nodded and placed my head on her chest. Elise held me tightly, I felt completely safe in her arms. I knew if I died at this moment in time I would die happy.

"This is my favourite place, I come here all the time" I told her. Elise's heart began to thump aggressively, so much it began to make my head move. I sat up slowly and looked at her, wondering if I had did something to upset her.

"What's wrong Elise?" I asked her nervously, she stared at me for a moment before shrugging her shoulders.

"I'm not sure, I'm just thinking of the future.. I'm scared, you know?" She said with a frown, I nodded before taking her hand in mine. She glanced at our hands and instantly smiled.

"I'll be there, every step of the way" I reassured her, Elise nodded as if she knew I was telling the truth.

I pulled her close again, she snuggled up to me and rested her head on my chest just like I was doing with her. I didn't feel nervous about what was happening, it felt right.

We began to talk about the silliest things, anything we could think of. We laughed together while continuing to hold each other close.

People walked passed us and smiled, they knew we were happy in each others company.

Elise sat up properly and let go of me, she turned her head to me and stared at me with a huge smile on her face. I didn't hesitate or re-think what I was about to do, I leaned in to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek but instead of doing so we accidentally kissed. WE KISSED, PROPERLY.

At first I was surprised and I began to freak out inside but I kept calm, Elise kissed me back and that's when I knew my feelings were real and she possibly felt it too. After the kiss we awkwardly sat in silence looking away from each other, I was over thinking if she even wanted to kiss me or if I forced it. Maybe I kissed her too soon, we haven't even known each other that long.

"Shall we walk?" Elise asked turning to me, I looked at her with bright red cheeks after what just happened. I nodded and stood up, she offered to give me a piggyback again and I accepted. As she walked I cuddled her tightly and began to sing again.

"Elise, can I tell you something?" I asked her, she stopped singing.

"Of course Rae, what is it?" She said while continuing to carry me, I took a few deep breaths and then finally spat it out.

"Well, I.. I love-"

~~~~~~

"Rae wake up!!" Gracie screamed as she ran into my hospital room and jumped on my bed. Mum chased after Gracie and grabbed her before telling her off. I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes, mum gave me a sympathetic smile. I must've looked awful judging by the way she looked at me.

"We have to be careful around your sister now Gracie, no jumping around alright?" Mum said, Gracie nodded and sat down with a frown on her face.

My doctor entered the room and began to talk to mum about how I was doing. I felt drained, weak, ugly and more than anything tired even though I had just woken up.

"Where is Amy?" I asked my little sister quietly as mum and the doctor spoke in the corner of the room.

"She wasn't feeling well today, mum told her she wasn't allowed to visit you if she had a cold" Gracie told me while turning on my TV and clicking on Netflix like she usually does. Sometimes I think the only reason my sister comes to visit me is to use the free Netflix that the hospital gave me.

"What were you dreaming about Rae? You had a smile on your face" Gracie asked, I thought for a moment and instantly smiled again.

"Oh nothing, I was just having a nice dream" I muttered before giggling but then beginning to worry.

I like Elise?

Since when? These feelings have appeared all at once and I don't know what to do about it. I can't talk to my family, they'd be against something like this.

Now I have so many unanswered questions in my head, I'm confused and I like a girl.. Elise to be exact.

The doctor left and I snapped out of my thoughts, mum sat down beside me and gave me another sympathetic smile. She reached out and held one of my hands before glancing around the bed at the many machines which were attached to me. Somehow I feel like she was just given bad news.

"You look very pale darling" She said, I nodded.

"That's the medication working" I told her, I leaned across the bed and grabbed my phone to see many messages from Sophia at 4:00am.

"JAMES LOVES ME."

It looks like I missed an eventful night..

Maybe I can talk to Sophia about my feelings and confusion, she might know what to do.

"Do you want anything to eat Rae?" Mum asked while pulling her purse out of her bag, she was heading to the cafeteria in the hospital.

"No thank you, can you take Gracie with you? I need to make an important phone call" I said with an innocent smile. Mum stared at me weirdly before leaving the room with Gracie, I was alone.

I took a deep breath before calling Sophia to confess everything.