The Alpha's Slut (#Wattys2016)

6~Forever

   I never wanted forever. Not since I was 14 and Tommy Sullivan moved away to some big town. I wasn't looking for a nine-to-five, picket fence, boy. I figure out pretty early girls like me don't get happy endings. Princesses like Astrid get that stuff. People like me are just there to make drama. No real purpose.

  So it was no surprise when the girl I grew up with returned. Deep down I always knew she would come back so the dark haired boy could fight for her heart. I could not let my thoughts wander to my mate, the boy who was to teach me the meaning of forever. 

  But I already figured it out as a child. 

   There was no such thing as forever. Forever is the word no one has ever said to me. I had heard Peter whisper it to Astrid. I had witnessed hundreds of pack members finding their mate and uttering the word. The promise. The promise that bound them together more than a damn paper could. 

   And maybe it was time for me to admit to myself that I craved Forever. I craved Always. But my mate would not have me, as I would not want to have myself. So, when I saw the blonde ghost who was perfectly alive I cried.

  I cried for the girl I lost. I cried for a broken childhood and for broken mate bonds. Perhaps this was the world's way of getting back at me. For it is only fair for me to lose my mate too.

  Astrid Ferro stared at me coldly. "Sometimes the person you would take a bullet for is the one behind the gun."

  My body shook with the effort of keeping in the sobs, "Hello, sister."

  So we cried together. For the last time ever we would cry for each other and for what we had lost, what I had destroyed. "I put away the gun when I realized that he was not worth the only person who had ever cared for me." I whispered.

  Astrid angrily wiped her tears and ceased crying. "Goodbye, Araceli."

  She turned away with Axel begging at her heels. 

  I slumped away and walked home on my own. I edged away from the gangbangers smoking on the street. I was slightly drunk and needed to get home. I veered out of the way and laid sprawled on a dirty sidewalk. Maybe I was drunker than originally thought. A blur of a dark body streaked towards me, stealing my bag and all my cash. I sighed and stumbled back home. 

   When I got home no one was waiting for me. I stripped and jumped into my bed. It didn't take much to figure out where they all were. I attempted to get some rest when some fucker hops into my room. I lazily turn towards the intruder, "If you wanted to fuck, call me tomorrow. I'm bu-"

  I looked at my mate in shock. He stonily gazed at me with his damn golden eyes. He was shirtless with his six-pack on full display. I took no shame in staring. He growled lowly, "Eyes up here."

 I laughed drunkenly, "Uh-huhhh."

  "Are you fucking drunk!?" he snarled.

  "No," I giggled, "I'm aaalways like this."

  He sighed, "Why the fuck was I paired with an alcoholic girl who likes to sleep around."

  "Because I'm fuuun."

   "Why are you even drunk."

   My eyes hardened, "Because of you! You damn panda bear."

  He tried to contain his amusement, "Panda bear?"

  "You look cuddly." I muttered. 

   He smiled softly, "Are you saying you want to cuddle with me, piccolo lupo?"

   I smiled happily in my drunken state. "Yup."

  He seemed to fight against himself, "Come here."

  I shook my head hesitantly, "I laid on the street for a little."

  He frowned, "No one took you home?"

  I shook my head, "Can't go home with someone when no one is willing to do it." I forced a smile, "Nobody's very fond of me around here." 

  He closed his eyes, forcing something down. "Go take a shower. I'll be waiting, amore."

  I went down the hall to the bathroom and closed the door with a light, bubbly feeling. He wanted me. He cared. He would be waiting for me. Someone would be waiting for me. Someone was awaiting me, Araceli. 

  I let out a laugh and quickly took the shower and scrubbed off the dirt and grime. I wrapped a worn towel around me and dressed in the pajamas I brought in with me. I ran back to my tiny room with happiness in the pit of my stomach. 

 My mate was gone.

  Only an open window greeted me. I bowed my head in understanding, and climbed into my uncomfortable bed. I screamed into the pillow and could not help feeling disappointed. I clutched the bed sheets in my hand. 

  I screamed until my throat went raw. I screamed because I could not afford to cry. I had no mate, no family, and no friends. I was truly alone in this world of mates and packs. It was all my fault. 

  His face appeared in my mind. Slightly curly brown hair and gold eyes. The brown hair that curled at the ends and looked soft to the touch. His sculpted jawline and eyes to kill for. His long, dark eyelashes that hooded his brilliant eyes. Full, pink lips. 

  And his voice. Husky and deep. I squeezed my eyes shut and tucked the image away, holding on. I will never forget that boy's eyes. I imagined a world where we could be together. A world where mates didn't exist and we would love each other because we just did. We would feel for each other, not because of some fucking mate bond, but because of the little things that brought us together.

Please don't scar, this young heart.

The lyrics replayed in my mind with one thought. Don't give up on me like everyone else has, mate.