{ #1 } I Was Shooting For The Moon, I Hit Two Stars (MxMxM || 18+)

Chapter 38 - Then A Throuple It Is!

(Alex's POV - Sun. 9 November 2014)

It's nearly 2am and I can't sleep.

Neither can I help the few tears running down my cheeks as I'm standing by the window, staring at the city lights. Chicago at night is beautiful, especially from the top of a building. All these lights are like the reflection of the stars in the dark sky, but they are not soothing my bleeding heart.

Last night's events keep rehearsing in my head. I wish I had been braver, but I only chickened out in front of Mark to let Shannon take all the risks when I had promised I would speak up. I'm such a coward! Mark didn't look that surprised when Shan made our request to add me as a permanent third party in their couple. Our request because this is what I truly want too.

The idea has been gnawing at my mind over the past two weeks. I tried so hard to fight against it, but when Shannon broached the topic on Thursday and bluntly suggested that I join them, all my resolve fled and it became my ultimate hope for a bright future with two men I had fallen for. Boy did I get angry at him for bringing back emotions I had struggled to suppress, not wanting to impose myself on their relationship, but it was too late, and knowing that Shannon wanted it too, I simply couldn't fight anymore.

When he exposed his plan on Friday over lunch, I nearly chocked on my food, because... there was no plan! His idea was basically to just speak with Mark and convince him to add me in their relationship. Okay, there was a bit more than that... Like dragging me to a medical clinic to make a rapid testing for HIV so that we could present ourselves to Mark with results. Or showing me a copy of their contract that we reviewed closely so that I'd be familiar with his usual rules.

He also spent a long moment telling me more about the hygiene routines he goes through and Mark's preferences in terms of shaving. This earned me a few more blushes, especially when Shan told me that I should trim my pubic hair before Saturday and that he'd help me to make my privates completely smooth when the time would come to... get to serious things.

In the end, after more talking, a visit to the medical center, and some shopping during which I had to fight against Shannon because he wanted to pay in most of the stores – I must admit that I lost several battles there – I eventually agreed to follow his so-called plan, and this is how we found ourselves knocking on Mark's door on Saturday to speak with him. The coward in me was just too impressed by Mark to speak up, and I'm glad Shannon had more guts than I did...

Somehow, Mark's reaction yesterday afternoon scared me a bit. He didn't look surprised, but he clearly seemed to be lost, and it didn't fit the image of a strong Dominant I have of him. I was afraid we might have broken something in him. He didn't reject our offer, though, just said that he needed time to think things over. All the same, the rest of the evening was painfully cold and he didn't talk to us at all.

Shannon was quite upset when we arrived at the club because he clearly expected an answer right away, so I had to calm him down and discourage him from sulking or going to the Black Moon as a revenge. Disobeying Mark's orders would only aggravate the situation, so I'm glad I could talk some sense into him. Instead, we played the best-behavior card and joined him in due time at the lounge, each of us kneeling on a different side of him. I think Shannon was disappointed to spend the evening there, but we got to watch the show anyway and I hoped it would help Mark to see reason with two Subs by his side.

Sadly, my spirits crashed down on our way back home. I hated this cold in the car, and above all, I realized that I might have broken something in their happiness. What if my desires to join them had ruined everything in their couple? I felt so guilty that when I we reached the apartment, I immediately fled to the guestroom to hide the tears I had been holding back.