Joe Sugg Imagines

Imagine 36: Weighing Me Down Pt. 1

Surprise! I felt like updating!

(Y/N)'s P.O.V.

"There's going to be a sick party going on at my mate's house. You and (Y/N) should tag along," Oli explained before I looked at Oli in absolute terror. After I almost got pregnant at a college party, I promised myself I would never go to big parties.

"Is it a big party?" I questioned, tightening my grip on Joe's hand, but he didn't seem to notice due to the television.

"Well, yeah. We're young adults in our twenties. Every party needs to be exceptional!" Oli answered as I started to feel more and more anxious. I looked at Joe if there was any sign if he wanted to go.

"I don't know. I'll text you later if we decide to go," Joe explained as Oli walked out of our house. Joe wrapped his arm around my waist.

"C'mon, (Y/N). Let's go to the party! We haven't been to a huge party in a while. What are you so afraid of?" Joe asked, causing me to freeze. I had never told Joe why I was afraid of big parties, but I felt rage fill my body once he asked that.

"What am I afraid of? Is that even a question? Lord knows anything can happen at a big party. You can be separated from your significant other, and then you're all of a sudden in the bed of someone you don't know! Anything can happen, Joe. I've witnessed it with my own eyes. I was a victim of overlooking the bad things that can happen at a huge party! I'm not a party person!" I exclaimed, letting all of my anger out. At first, Joe looked taken aback, but then anger filled his eyes as well. I gulped in fear.

"I know you're not a party person. But I didn't know you were a buzzkill! You suck the fun out of everything! You're always about safety and stuff when we should be taking risks because we're young. We should act free. While the rest of our generation is doing this, you're over here trying to make the world a perfect place by stopping others from having fun," Joe started. "(Y/N) (Y/L/N), if only you knew how big of a sucker you are! Now that I think of it, I don't even know why I ever decided to date you. You're nothing like me. You're boring and too safe. You have no life meanwhile I can get any girl if I wanted to because I actually have a life! (Y/N), we haven't been to a party in two fucking years! Just admit that you're weighing me down!"Joe yelled as I felt my heart break into tiny pieces.

Joe looked at me in the eyes as tears ran down my cheeks. His features softened once he saw my tears fall. I ran up the stairs to hide with Joe right behind me. I ran faster, and I finally reached the bathroom. I shut and locked the door in hope that I could just have some space. I continued to cry into my hands, but I soon realized that there was sobbing coming from the other side of the door. I had never heard Joe cry let alone sob in the four years I had known him. Feeling hesitant, I wiped the tears running down my face and openned the door to reveal Joe sobbing so much that he could probably grab a boat and travel to New York.

"I'm a monster, (Y/N). Just tell me I'm a monster!" Joe demanded before I walked over to him to take a seat. Joe backed away from me.

"Why would you want to sit next to a monster?" Joe whispered as I scooted closer to him. Seeing Joe like this made me forget everything that had just happened.

"I'm just as big as a monster as you are," I admitted, holding my head in my hands. Joe and I aren't a perfect couple and never will be. It's just the truth, but I just wish Joe understood.

"Joe, I know you try hard to make us a picture perfect couple, but you just need to accept the fact that we're not. The dedication you put into our relationship is beyond amazing, but you just need to understand that we will get upset at eachother every now and then. You need to be understanding of our relationship just doesn't work out. Yes, we have been together for a while now, but that doesn't mean that our love for eachother is eternal. We can split up any moment, including this moment. If you really don't know why we ever got together, you can leave," I sighed as more tears slipped out. Joe looked at me in the eyes.

"I don't know why I ever said you were weighing me down. The truth is I feel like I'm weighing you down. I feel like I'm stopping you from being your own authentic self. The only reason I blew up on you a while ago was because I thought maybe you would just leave, so you wouldn't have to be weighed down by me. Everything I said about you being a sucker was just me losing my mind. You just drive me insane in a good way. You should just leave. I'm weighing you down," Joe cried before covering his face with a pillow. My heart just kept shattering.

"Joe, you're not weighing me down. You were right about me being so uptight. I need to learn how to let loose and be young. Please don't think lowly of yourself like that. If anyone is weighing anyone down, it's me. I'm sorry, Joe. I should just leave. It's not going to work out," I sighed before wiping Joe's tears away. I got up from the bed to look Joe in the eye one more time. Feeling uneasy, I walked out of Joe and I's house, leaving my love for Joe behind.

A/N

I'm still a bit rusty. What can you do? Anyways, I want to talk about this really shit hotel my family was going to stay at. First things first, it looks like someone was murdered in there. It's just the atmosphere. It's disgusting. After my brother saw the Conjuring 2, he was like," We're supposed to be relaxing not conjuring!" Second of all, the pool had freaking insects in it, and they said," We just cleaned the pool yesterday." Like bitch please. Who do you think you're fooling? Also, I'm alergic to a lot of things, and I start to itch if I'm having an alergic reaction. And I was itching like crazy. That's when we decided we should just leave. We still had to pay a fee for canceling on the room. Like what the actual hell? Anyways, I hope you're enjoying your day! xxx

-Erika