A Love (harry styles)

part 38

I set there, hands on the rail of Harry's hospital bed, watching him in his sleep. as the thought about the cause for his violent behavior  flood my mind, i was beyond frustrated at Harry's and Christian's treatment for each other. i never expected they would be friends but at least get along, even just  exchange glances would work, anything but this.

my phone vibrated in my coat's pocket, when i see the name on the screen, a sigh was realized from my lips as i slid my finger through the screen.

"Hello." i spoke into the device.

"are you OK?" Niall asked.

"yeah, why haven't you just came in the room?" i whispered.

"oh, i went to the store down town to buy Harry a toothbrush and some cocky stuff for him to hill." he explains. "you were in there for a while, i thought you fell asleep." he jokes. i smile.

"i just can't catch up on how badly he's hurt." i sigh and received another from Niall.

"yeah i know." he paused. "Katy?" he asks a few seconds later.

"hmm?" 

"don't ever think he's hurt because of you." he says. 

"i'm not, but i do feel a little bad because MY boyfriend did that." my voice low.

"you shouldn't." he says, i hear a lady talking to him about the bill. "well i gotta go, bye." he says and hangs up the phone.

i take in a deep breath and put my phone back in my pocket before turning my gaze to Harry again, he had turned on his side and he's now facing me, a small wince had attacked his body. my eyes squeezed close as his lips angled to a pain expression. i feel guilty for being here with Harry instead of being with my boyfriend who's also bruised, but it's not near what Harry's condition is so i don't feel that bad. i decided that is hold go home to get some sleep but by my  'smooth' move, my leg was caught in the chair and i stumbled over, making the chair fall with me and making a loud sound ad the cold metal hit the white tills. Harry's head rose up quickly as a gasp fell from his lips, his breath was heavy and fast. relief flooded his face when he realized it was just me. his hand went up to cup his forehead, his eyes closed as he plopped himself back on the mattress.

"i'm so sorry." i whispered, swiftly getting back on my feet.

"it's alright." he said, moving his hand form his head and gave me a weak smile. i gave him a sympathetic smile. "come here." he flicked his head, signalling for me to come closer. i swiftly grabbed the chair from the floor and placed it back next to him and set down. his hand took mine, thumb brushing small circles to his palm as he smiled.

"i'm sorry." he whispered, almost completely muted.

"for what? you don't have to apologize." i said softly.

"i keep giving you these stupid mental stress every time, i really don't mean to, and another girl would have ignore me and consider me dead for doing that to her preaches boyfriend, you probably would save all this trouble if you could." he looks disappointed at him self.

"you'r not, i'm glad that i met you, and i would never regret it not even for Chris..." his face lit up at me words, my cheeks heated with every second i go threw the words i just said over and over before pausing and bite down my bottom lip.

his lips parted, wanting to speak up but closed it again. 

"not even for kissing me?" he asked quietly looking at out entwined hands. my head shot up at his question and memories of that day came to the front of my mind. he looked almost childlike with the way he talked, from how he pronounced the words, there is a piece in my mind saying that he has a huge meaning to the kiss we shared, but i wasn't convince.

"i..i'm." i stuttered. he nodded in disappointment. his gaze was now avoiding mine, his grip on my hand loosens but mine isn't. i lean forward to push some of ringlets back, away from his face. my hand slid to his jaw, running my finger in the same pattern as i did on his palm, his muscles relaxed a little allowing me to cup his chin and turning his head to look at me. his eyes held hope and his grip tightens around my hand again.

"not even for kissing you." i breathed out, surprised by my words. somewhere in my messy brain, i know they're true.

i smiled in an effort to make him copy me, but he didn't do anything he just looked away again.

"Harry?" i said. "are you OK?" 

"i know you don't mean that." he said.

"i am, you know i never lie, and why is that so important to you anyway?"

there was silent for a few seconds.

"you'r wasting you'r time on someone that doesn't deserve you." he said harshly.

"what?"

"you heard me."

"maybe i don't know what to do? i'm not like all the girls you know Harry, i can't just breakup with someone just because someone thinks he doesn't deserve me, first of all, i don't have a heart to do it and second, i love him..."

"you don't."

"excuse me?" i say.

"i know you don't love him, as much as you think you are, you'r not."

"how do you know what i'm feeling?" i say, annoyed at his statements on my own thoughts and feelings.

"i see the way he treats you, the way you roll you'r eyes at his every sentence, the way you look at him, this isn't love, Katy he doesn't deserve you."

"then who does? you?" i say without thinking. his eyes locked on mine, his mind procecing on what to say next.

"you know what?" he starts. "yes i am, i deserve you more than him and i know that because..." he stopped.

"because what?" i push.

"because i really love you Katy, i love you." 

i love you. i love you. i love you . i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you . i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. 

the words echoing in my head, i gulped, waiting for any breath to come in and out as words, but it never comes. all the emotions i felt through this entire month flood my brain. feeling i never knew existed in me becoming clear in the curly haired angel sitting in front of me. three words i've waited to hear for 3 years from the boy i think i love but don't know anymore, had been spoken from a guy who knows me for 30 days and has every bit of emotion a person could bring up with only 3 words. he left me mesmerize with his soft voice echoing again.

Harry loves.. me?