Don't Play With Dolls (BTS and VIXX)

Thirty One- The Missing Piece

{{{Author's Note~ Oh my gosh guys. I have never had such a TGIF feeling so strong right now. I'm am so exhausted. So relieved it's Fridayyyyyy. I'm ready to go home and pass out haha 😂😴. So to celebrate the end of this long and dreadful week, here's a chapter. Enjoy 😊😉😎}}}

| Monday January 4, 2016 |

I sat on the subway train as I rode back to my hotel. The world had gone silent around me in the past three weeks. I felt like everything I touched, everything I heard, I saw, everything I experienced wasn't really there. Like the world had died with me. Like everything had changed. But it didn't, it was still turning. It was still continuing. Life still went on. I was the only one that changed. My loss had dragged me into the abyss of a numb depression.

The first two days after he'd gone were normal. It was as if nothing happened at all. But once the realization kicked in, once the desire to be at his side kicked in once again, the world turned upside down.

It was a new year, 2016 already. And my first four days were the last way anyone could've wished to start a new year.

I did the same thing I'd always done before. I worked, I figured things out, I lived. I worked every day of the week now, which I also used to do for a time. But nothing about it felt the same now. Like the transition now was impossible. This way felt so foreign.

I'd trained myself all my life not to care. Not to show emotions and not to get attached. But Farouk was right as always. I'd gotten involved. And now it hurt. It hurt worse than the stab wound. I felt dead without emotion. Without the compassion and smiles of the one I cared about.

It had to have shown in my work too. I know it did. Jae always looked at me with concern. And he'd been really careful around me. The entire team had been. As if they didn't want to hurt me as well. But it's not their fault. They haven't done anything to me. And I tried my best to convince them that I was fine.

The train dinged as it came to a stop. Though I was out of it mainly, and hadn't cared enough about the world around me, I had noticed a strange man had followed me from the streets near the agency. At first I thought it wasn't anything. But then he continued to follow. And Farouk continued to signal to me that he was looking at me. I also noticed that by the way I looked so out of it, I had caused myself danger. I looked vulnerable and like an easy target.

The stop wasn't mine but I made my way to doors that opened and shuffled out with the others.

"He's following you," Farouk spoke to me.

I stepped out onto the platform and stood near the door to the train. I looked around pretending I had been lost and then I pulled out my phone as a stall.

"He got off. He's waiting for you."

I continued to fiddle with my phone as the seconds went by. I could feel the man's eyes on me. People really are pathetic. To get a sexual experience from someone you had to force it out of is just sick. Intimacy is with someone you care about. Intercourse is meant to be shared with the one you love. Not the random victim of the night.

I heard the train ding again, signaling the standby that their doors were closing. And within a split second, I slipped through the closing doors and was back on the train.

The man looked surprised as I made my sudden move. I stared at him, singling him out. He looked at me frightened before averting my gaze and rushing away to be unnoticed before someone realized his disgusting plans.

I sat back down in my seat with the few others left on the train and waited for my stop. Once I'd gotten through the door to my suite, I walked tiredly to my sofa and plopped down.