Don't Play With Dolls (BTS and VIXX)

Thirty Nine- Ready

| Monday January 18, 2016 |

I was laying in my bed relaxing. It was ten now and I tried to sleep, but I couldn't get my mind to be quiet. I kept thinking about Jin. I found him. I know I did. But now, to take action I just needed proof for the rest of the team. What would happen when there was proof? When we did corner him? Would he surrender so easily?

I was tempted to call him. I longed to hear his gentle voice. I wanted him here with me. I wanted his comfort. I wanted him. I dialed his number again. If only I had the guts to press the call button. Calling him would put my mind at ease. Listening to him would relax me. There were so many questions he left unanswered, and not just about the case.

But at the same time that I wanted to talk to him, I was also scared to. Did he even have the same number? Would he even pick up? What would I even say to him at a time like this?

"Will you stop that already?" Farouk grumbled from where he laid on his stomach on the sofa. He turned his head to look at me. "If you're going to call him just do it already and stop wimping out."

I sighed as I looked down at the number. My finger hovered over the call button. But then I clicked out of the dial pad and set my phone aside.

"Do you think he really wants to talk to me?" I sounded like a nervous school girl. It was pathetic.

"You already know the answer to that question." He sat up.

I looked at him for a long time. "Would you tell me where he is if I asked?"

He gazed back at me with tired eyes. "I would, if the circumstances were different. But I know that if I did, you would not go after him alone, so no."

I frowned at him. "Why does it matter to you if I go on my own or not?"

He sighed and shook his head at me. "Low, I've known you a long time. I know you better than you know yourself. And I can honestly call you an idiot for even considering jeopardizing your relationship with that man all because of your loyalty to your job. I may have taught you not to act on account of your feelings, but that was meant to protect you. But this time, I'm telling you, you acting on account of your feelings would hurt you less."

I sat back in my bed and pondered that. Was everyone really encouraging me to defy everything I worked for? Everything I'd been taught? Why was my relationship with Jin so important to everyone? To me even? He was a man and that's all he was. I could move on. There are a million fish in the sea as they say. Right?

"So does that mean you believe what he's doing is right then?" I asked.

"It's a matter of opinion really." He looked down inspecting his milky colored nails. "But I cannot go by opinion. So I will reflect what is most logical." He looked up at me. "Yes, what he's doing is wrong to some degree, but there is more benevolent purpose in his actions than there is malevolent. He has a true and pure heart in what he's doing. I must admit, he does enjoy acting like the enemy a lot, for reasonable purposes I suppose, but it caused everyone more harm than good."

I let out a deep breath. "Do you think he'd ever come back?"

He shrugged. "That depends."

"What's that supposed to mean? Depends on what?" I grumbled at him.

"It depends on what you do about it." He looked at me.

His words surprised me. What I do about it? What do I have to do with it? I can't be that big of a factor to him. I can't have interfered that much in his mind. Did I really have the power to bring him back? To get him to come back? Would he trust me?